Sunday, October 7, 2012

Initiation

Arrived last night after our 4th day of walking from St. Jean Pied de Port. In beginning our pilgrimage in St. Jean and walking east to Toulouse, we actually walked the most difficult 4 days at the very beginning. The Pyrenees have been to our right as we walked a total of about 80 kilometers in distance and through woods, corn fields, farms, villages and towns, and up and over many steep foothills and down into valleys carved out by creeks and rivers.


We have met many vaches (cows), and brebis (sheep) and many wonderful, warm and welcoming local people, yet have encountered only two pilgrims after we left Mauleon, a young retired couple from Ontario whose were originally from Quebec. Even I could tell that their French was different, yet a natural language for them. They were on their way to St. Jean from Toulouse - having walked the path from our destination. Interesting timing of our paths crossing, given that we were wondering if we were actually going to Toulouse at that point, or were perhaps considering another destination of Conques, for its homage to Sainte Foy.

One of my experiences of the Camino, or le Chemin, and perhaps most simply, the path, is that the "path guides and provides every step of the way." This couple from France reminded me that my journey is to Toulouse, despite temptations to go elsewhere! Yet what I also know is that Conques will be on the way from Toulouse to Orleans...She has made that clear!

I already have a major blister on my right pinky toe that I am taking good care of. Just yesterday, I noticed that my legs started to reveal symptoms of "walker's legs" - a rash on my calves, swelling, intense tenderness in my feet. I thought I was just tired and out of walking shape. I did not prepare for this pilgrimage like I have for the others, either with the distance I walked or the weight I carried. I allowed my busy life to dictate my daily activities, rather than center my life around my daily walks. I should know better...walk first, and then else falls into place and alignment...with joy and ease.

We walked into town last night around 6:00, and then walked around town, which here means going up and down many steep hills into the different sections of town, until after 7pm looking for a hotel. There were many "manifestations" happening here last night, but our "Oloron Ange" helped up to find a sweet room with two windows at l'Hotel de France, across from la gare, the train station. He was worried that it would not be nice, as it was only 40 euros (my euro symbol does not work on this portable keyboard), but it is quite fine, and the older woman who owns and runs the hotel is lovely. SHe actually has a scarab on her necklace - I am longing to ask her about it!

Last night I think both Beebe and I were ready to call it complete. My feet hurt so badly, my legs were so tired and I couldn't remember why I was even doing this! Beebe too was questioning whether or not to continue. After a hot shower and delicious dinner, I knew that no matter what that I must walk this journey - by myself, with or without Beebe. I had felt concerns coming up over the past couple of days about walking this by myself and didn't know why I was having them. Now I understand...this is a journey that I must take. It is my soul's journey.

Ultimately I am walking from the first chakra of Santiago, up through all seven chakras to Rosslyn. I walked from Santiago to St. Jean 2 years ago - basically, I have been in between the first and second chakras for the past two years, and yes, this is what has been reflected in my life through my challenges, choices and processes.

I have now embarked on the journey to Toulouse, the second chakra, and quite honestly, I am not surprised that this has been the journey it has been so far for me! This is a challenging chakra for me - relationship with creativity, sexuality, finances, pleasure - and so no wonder, I want to get off and just have it come easy. I don't want it to be hard, grueling or challenging. I just want it!

To begin this journey with the hardest and steepest challenges is perfect. My commitment and will were being tested...how committed are you to receiving the gifts and beauty of this powerful and beautiful chakra? How willing am I to receive, period?

HOW WILLING AM I TO RECEIVE?

As I type these words, they seem to be the gift of this journey, and the question of the initiation...these past 4 days were the initiation, just like O Cebreiro was on my first Camino in 2009. My first day was up this strenuous and beautiful mountain. For most pilgrims who walk to Santiago from St. Jean, the Pyrenees are their initiation. One of the qualities of a true pilgrimage is the "initiation". While we do not know exactly what form it will take or how it will look, we can open ourselves up to receive it and give thanks for its presence, for its gift is the blessing of the pilgrimage itself.

I am so blessed and grateful to be on this pilgrimage of the second chakra.

Thank you.

Suseya!

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