Today was my first day of living into the spiritual practice of the Lord's Prayer, as offered by Kathleen McGowan in her book, The Source of Miracles. Early this morning, I decided to begin the practice with a walk at a labyrinth about 10 miles from here that is outside and made of rounded stones with sand, and is a replica of the Chartres labyrinth complete with the rose of the 6 petals in the middle of the labyrinth. I spoke the prayer as written in Kathleen's book before I started into the labyrinth, and then once I reached the rose, I moved around the petals saying the lines that correspond to each petal, and focused on the first petal of "Faith" that correspond to "Our Father, in Heaven, May Your Name be Hallowed." Much of the petal of "Faith" focuses on our divine mission and our willingness to commit to fulfilling that sacred mission.
Now I have experienced high levels of resistance to, actually rejection of, anything to do with Christianity, "Our Father" languaging, Jesus Christ as a God, the patriarchy, and the Church. So I do not undertake this practice lightly. Even considering the Lord's Prayer has brought up for me all the reasons I left the Christian church in the first place. It has been thirty-five plus years since I was an acolyte in the Episcopalian Church and involved in the teen youth group. This all said, I trust Kathleen and her heretical approach to Christianity, Jesus Christ, and more importantly, Mary Magdalene. Out of this trust, I decided to be open to the Lord's Prayer and experience it for myself. Yet, as I said the Prayer out loud for the first time, and especially with focusing on the the first two lines which include the words, "Our Father", I seriously questioned and doubted both the prayer and myself as I spoke these words. I was very nervous that I was giving away my power and stepping back into the patriarchy. I felt strange, challenged and even anxious.
However, as I moved through and around the labyrinth, I received very clear ideas on how to lead my local pilgrimages in the new year. While I had already had the idea of focusing the pilgrimages on the 6 local labyrinths, I wasn't sure how I was going to do this, or what the context for these pilgrimages would be. It became crystal clear to me that it will be a weekly pilgrimage over 7 weeks, that focuses on the teachings of the rose of the 6 petals, and complete with the teaching of Love, as in the center of the rose, returning to the first labyrinth that we visit. It also seems appropriate to start and finish with a Chartres labyrinth that has the rose of the 6 petals in the middle.
Moreover, I have had a great day today. I have viscerally felt as though I have aligned with a loving force much greater than myself, and that Love is now working through me. In one day. I worked with Kate all morning as we deepened our collaboration and creation of Women Owning Wealth; I got to have some amazing conversations in the afternoon; and then I went for walk at one of my favorite trails that is most like the woods for me, with its deciduous trees, a creek, and wide open fields. In my conversation with a dear friend and co-creator, Ingrid, I shared that I felt as though I had just conceived and am now newly pregnant with multiple babies - the book I am going to write, leading sacred pilgrimages in both Europe and locally; the Cornwall tour with my father in June, Women Owning Wealth with Kate - at least these are the babies/projects that I am aware of right now! While each baby is its own unique and complete creation, they are each intimately related to each other, and the health, well-being and growth of one both affects and contributes to the health, well-being, and growth of all the others. During these next 9 months, I am going to grow and nurture these projects and give birth to a beautiful book, a successful business, an engaging tour, and both local and international pilgrimages.
Ingrid and I also talked about the balance and necessity of both the masculine and the feminine. It is no longer an either/or, or one or the other, or even one over or on top of the other. It is the sacred marriage of the masculine and the feminine that is necessary for the healing of our planet, our world, our lives, and our hearts.
As I walked, I reflected that I had just declared my multiple pregnancy. As I felt and accepted this, I realized that today I had also spoken the Lord's Prayer with intention for the first time. I had said a prayer that invoked the sacred masculine through the profound words, "Our Father". I had invited the divine masculine, Our Father, to assist and support me to live true to way of Love and to fulfill my sacred mission. In saying the Lord's Prayer, I had both invited the masculine energy of providing that which I asked for, and I had received it. Within 6 hours, I declared that I was pregnant.
This may be some of the magic and the mystery that Kathleen was referring to when she talks about the power of the Lord's Prayer. In her words, she says that this prayer is "now, as it was when Jesus lived, the incorruptible formula for personal and global transformation."
Both the synchronistic recognition of my "pregnancy", and my moving forward with, committing to and "owning" my projects - my babies - is the first miracle I have received in the sacred practice of the Lord's Prayer. Kathleen says in her book that the Lord's Prayer is the "most powerful tool for changing your life - and changing the world - that you will likely ever encounter." That's a hefty claim, and I'm open to the possibility that there may actually be some truth in it.
The journey continues...
Suseya!
Sarah
Monday, December 13, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
The Writer's Grail - I am a Writer.
Yesterday I attended the Writer's Grail Workshop (this is the first one and they will be offering more in 2011. www.writersgrail.com) in Denver with Kathleen MacGowan and Philip Coppens. I loved it. I loved getting to meet and connect with Kathleen and to own that I AM A WRITER. I am a writer because I write. I now expand this declaration to include that I AM AN AUTHOR.
While I was working on an exercise yesterday at the workshop, I shifted my role as author to the center of my soul's mission. Even as I put this on a piece of paper, something didn't feel completely right to me. I realize that PILGRIM is at the center of my mission. As I own and embody who I am as a pilgrim, very closely connected is my being an author and writer. Perhaps they are inseparable. Hmm...
There are many people, including Kathleen, who have known that they have wanted to be a writer since they were a child. Not true for me. It has been since I have stepped into being a pilgrim that the writer in me is asking to be birthed. Perhaps like divine complements, they co-exist with each other, and do not exist fully by themselves. Until right now, I have questioned whether or not I can still be a writer since I haven't wanted it forever, yet as I write this, I realize that my desire to be a writer could not be seen or felt until I became a pilgrim and connected with the Camino, and the sacred art of pilgrimage. For me, being a writer is as much about what I want to write about as it the craft of writing.
Today I begin a 21 Day Commitment to write for 5 or more minutes every day. This is spiritual act of my living into, or perhaps more truthfully, living out of that I AM A WRITER.
My writing my book about the journey of the Celtic Camino is one of my deepest priorities for 2011, and my intention is to have the first draft of the book completed by May 31, 2011. In June, I return to England and spend my summer traveling, with the intention to walk the next leg of the Camino from Puenta la Reina to Toulouse in September. So to have the book completed before I begin my travels will be a send off to the next leg of my pilgrim journey.
Thy will be done.
Suseya!
Sarah
While I was working on an exercise yesterday at the workshop, I shifted my role as author to the center of my soul's mission. Even as I put this on a piece of paper, something didn't feel completely right to me. I realize that PILGRIM is at the center of my mission. As I own and embody who I am as a pilgrim, very closely connected is my being an author and writer. Perhaps they are inseparable. Hmm...
There are many people, including Kathleen, who have known that they have wanted to be a writer since they were a child. Not true for me. It has been since I have stepped into being a pilgrim that the writer in me is asking to be birthed. Perhaps like divine complements, they co-exist with each other, and do not exist fully by themselves. Until right now, I have questioned whether or not I can still be a writer since I haven't wanted it forever, yet as I write this, I realize that my desire to be a writer could not be seen or felt until I became a pilgrim and connected with the Camino, and the sacred art of pilgrimage. For me, being a writer is as much about what I want to write about as it the craft of writing.
Today I begin a 21 Day Commitment to write for 5 or more minutes every day. This is spiritual act of my living into, or perhaps more truthfully, living out of that I AM A WRITER.
My writing my book about the journey of the Celtic Camino is one of my deepest priorities for 2011, and my intention is to have the first draft of the book completed by May 31, 2011. In June, I return to England and spend my summer traveling, with the intention to walk the next leg of the Camino from Puenta la Reina to Toulouse in September. So to have the book completed before I begin my travels will be a send off to the next leg of my pilgrim journey.
Thy will be done.
Suseya!
Sarah
Thursday, December 9, 2010
The Journey Continues...
I have been home for 5 weeks now - home for as long as I was away on the Camino. Sometimes I feel as though it takes me as long to re-enter as the time I was journeying. This time I have been allowing myself to re-enter more slowly and quietly, with my desire to be present with my family and friends as the central intention. I am in the midst of clearing out my office and creating it with an openness and space to allow in the new unfolding of my life. I moved all the stuff out on Sunday, and here we are on Thursday with most of the stuff still sitting on my family's dining room table. While I can take note that I am up early and sitting in my office to write (which means that a certain level of creation has occurred - I have taken out 2 chairs for clients to sit in, and moved in just one comfy chair for me to sit in while I read, write, talk with clients on the phone, and ponder), I am very aware that I do not want to automatically move all the stuff back in. My focus is shifting - I actually moved out my notebooks from coaching school - I am claiming my coaching and what I do know; my notebooks from Own It Sister! - I am releasing and letting go of the past 2 years of my life and allowing the new venture to come in; my notebooks filled with notes from old clients - I no longer want to coach clients one-on-one. My bookshelf is now in a prominent, accessible place (before it was on the other side of my desk and hard to get to). I am including my books on the Camino; Mary Magdalene and the Divine Feminine; Celtic wisdom and spirituality; money and wealth; and some of my most favorite reference books, by authors such as Carolyn Myss and Barbara Hand Clow. These books clearly reflect the direction I am preparing to head in 2011.
One of my intentions and desires is to write an engaging and magnetic book on my pilgrimage on the Celtic Camino. While there is a lot to sort out and to become clear on, I am receiving quite clear impulses on the content of the book. For now, I have titled the book, A Woman's Pilgrimage on the Celtic Camino: Healing the Split and Walking Home to Wholeness. On Saturday, I am attending a workshop with Kathleen MacGowan and her partner, Phillip Coppens. Kathleen is the author of The Expected One, Book of Love, and The Poet Prince, 3 novels that have resonated with my knowing about the true story of Mary Magdalene, the sacred bloodline, and the sacred Feminine. I am so excited to meet her, as I have been developing a relationship with her over Facebook. It is a joy to be in communication with a bestselling author whose books I love and respect on many levels.
Connected with this intention is my deep desire to return to the Camino and to walk and lead a small group of women on the next leg of the journey from Puenta la Reina and the Eunate Church along the Camino Aragones over Somport Pass along the Via Tolosana to Toulouse.
My third intention is to build a strong and collaborative business that generates a powerful residual income for me and my family. My big dream is to be able to live in Colorado and England and to be free of location for my income, to be able to travel, walk and move as I desire, to create from my deep feminine well of creativity, abundance and prosperity, and to be able to offer and share this with others. I want other people to live their dreams and to get to create from a powerful, and empowering place within themselves that both reflects and infuses the new paradigm of co-creation. No more doing it alone, no more struggle, and no more living small and out of fear and lack. I left that back on the Camino. I am owning what I want, and have committed to living from my deepest and biggest desires and dreams. Want to join me?!
I had to put away my Own It, Sister! notebooks so that I could live into and embody owning it! No more just talking about it - now is my time to live into what owning it really means, what it looks like for me, and to express it fully in my life and into the world. I am committed to the new paradigm of co-creating with the feminine power that has been denied for thousands of years. I have denied it in myself, both personally and globally. Every time I do or say something to look good, or right, to others, I deny myself and my true and inherent beauty, gifts, talent, and purpose, and in turn, I deny it in others. Every time I play small, or from fear, I deny it. Every time I avoid my fears, I deny it. Every time I sidestep, I deny it. I even have to own that I have denied it, and to stop denying that I have denied it.
Now is both my time and opportunity to recognize all that has stopped me and kept me small and name it, see it, hold it, let it go, and from this, choose. Choose fear, or choose love. Simple. Choose, and choose again, and again, and again.
I walked with fear on the Camino - much of these past 5 weeks has been about my deeply recognizing that I chose to walk with fear on the Camino. That has been the Camino's gift to me - the recognition that I chose to walk with fear. I am not fear, but I did have it right there along beside me (or in front or behind, but never out of sight). I walked 500 kilometers with fear, so that I would know, in an experiential and embodied way, what it looks and feels like for me to walk with fear and what the consequences of that choice is for me. So often, I placated, I pleased, I kept quiet, I acquiesced. I doubted myself and I hid behind the fear.
To walk the first leg of the Celtic Camino with fear is an essential catalyst for my walking home to wholeness, for only when we recognize that we have split and are separate, can we feel our longing to be whole and connected.
The journey continues...
Suseya!
Sarah
One of my intentions and desires is to write an engaging and magnetic book on my pilgrimage on the Celtic Camino. While there is a lot to sort out and to become clear on, I am receiving quite clear impulses on the content of the book. For now, I have titled the book, A Woman's Pilgrimage on the Celtic Camino: Healing the Split and Walking Home to Wholeness. On Saturday, I am attending a workshop with Kathleen MacGowan and her partner, Phillip Coppens. Kathleen is the author of The Expected One, Book of Love, and The Poet Prince, 3 novels that have resonated with my knowing about the true story of Mary Magdalene, the sacred bloodline, and the sacred Feminine. I am so excited to meet her, as I have been developing a relationship with her over Facebook. It is a joy to be in communication with a bestselling author whose books I love and respect on many levels.
Connected with this intention is my deep desire to return to the Camino and to walk and lead a small group of women on the next leg of the journey from Puenta la Reina and the Eunate Church along the Camino Aragones over Somport Pass along the Via Tolosana to Toulouse.
 |
| Eunate Church, where the Camino Aragones joins the Camino Frances |
Another intention is to assist my father to market and lead a tour in Cornwall in June based on the historical fiction novel that he is writing on 18th century Cornwall. I am so excited for him and what he is creating at 78 years old, and I truly want to support him in any way that I can. Plus I get to be in England again, with him, in Cornwall, and assist him to lead a small group on a journey. How great is that!
My third intention is to build a strong and collaborative business that generates a powerful residual income for me and my family. My big dream is to be able to live in Colorado and England and to be free of location for my income, to be able to travel, walk and move as I desire, to create from my deep feminine well of creativity, abundance and prosperity, and to be able to offer and share this with others. I want other people to live their dreams and to get to create from a powerful, and empowering place within themselves that both reflects and infuses the new paradigm of co-creation. No more doing it alone, no more struggle, and no more living small and out of fear and lack. I left that back on the Camino. I am owning what I want, and have committed to living from my deepest and biggest desires and dreams. Want to join me?!
I had to put away my Own It, Sister! notebooks so that I could live into and embody owning it! No more just talking about it - now is my time to live into what owning it really means, what it looks like for me, and to express it fully in my life and into the world. I am committed to the new paradigm of co-creating with the feminine power that has been denied for thousands of years. I have denied it in myself, both personally and globally. Every time I do or say something to look good, or right, to others, I deny myself and my true and inherent beauty, gifts, talent, and purpose, and in turn, I deny it in others. Every time I play small, or from fear, I deny it. Every time I avoid my fears, I deny it. Every time I sidestep, I deny it. I even have to own that I have denied it, and to stop denying that I have denied it.
Now is both my time and opportunity to recognize all that has stopped me and kept me small and name it, see it, hold it, let it go, and from this, choose. Choose fear, or choose love. Simple. Choose, and choose again, and again, and again.
I walked with fear on the Camino - much of these past 5 weeks has been about my deeply recognizing that I chose to walk with fear on the Camino. That has been the Camino's gift to me - the recognition that I chose to walk with fear. I am not fear, but I did have it right there along beside me (or in front or behind, but never out of sight). I walked 500 kilometers with fear, so that I would know, in an experiential and embodied way, what it looks and feels like for me to walk with fear and what the consequences of that choice is for me. So often, I placated, I pleased, I kept quiet, I acquiesced. I doubted myself and I hid behind the fear.
To walk the first leg of the Celtic Camino with fear is an essential catalyst for my walking home to wholeness, for only when we recognize that we have split and are separate, can we feel our longing to be whole and connected.
The journey continues...
Suseya!
Sarah
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Walking my Camino in Colorado. Simply, I love to walk. It is truly a gift for my body and soul.
In-Syncness
Been home for ten days now, and the re-entry process continues to deepen. Each day I am more here, more present in my body. I got to spend time with Grace, my youngest, on Saturday. It felt as though we had to come back into sync with each other. We started off somewhat at odds with each other, not quite sure what to do or how to even decide what to do. Fortunately, by the end of our time together, we felt aligned and open with each other, and were laughing and enjoying ourselves.
This experience with Grace helped me to name the state of being "in sync" with someone, or even something. It can just be the way it is with someone and usually that person becomes one of our dearest friends or partners. Sometimes, you have to create it with someone, or re-create it. Grace and I are usually very in sync with each other. Yet, given my 5 week absence from her, we have to cultivate our in-syncness again. Nothing wrong, but very important to recognize and honor that my 9 year old daughter has had to learn how to be okay with me around her, calibrating her rhythm, her energy, her being. And so our need to simply spend time together, focused on each other and our relationship, and to get back in sync.
In sync. Dictionary.com defines sync as "harmony or harmonious relationship." It feels good to be in sync with others - these are the people whom I am drawn to and want to be with.
Who are you in sync with? Who are you not?
Going away for 5 weeks gives me the opportunity to confront this. I notice that it can be something I take for granted, sometimes something I long for with someone but can't quite seem to find; at other times may have with someone and then lose it, and am then not sure how to get it back.
As I reflect on this, being in syncness is something I spend a lot of time on, and is one of my prime motivators. Hmm...perhaps we all do. Perhaps not. It seems that being in relationship is so important and necessary for all of us.
While I walked on the Camino, I felt very in sync with myself. Something in the very act and process of walking supports and connects me so that I experience an in-syncness that is comfortable, harmonious, and nourishing, both on a physical and a soul level. I realize that I crave this feeling. I long to walk for hours every day. I love to walk for hours every day. While there are certain terrains and environments that I prefer, I also am happy to just walk. On the Camino, I loved the wide open meseta as much as I loved the rolling green hills of Galicia. Perhaps each occurred at exactly the right time for me, and part of walking is the acceptance of transition and change, even as reflected in the environment around you.
When I walk, I move at a speed that is natural and aligned with my body. I move only as fast as my body can move. I could run, but there is something about the speed of walking that feels inherently "right" for me. The contrast of this is when I fly in an airplane. My body is moving so fast with the help of another vehicle, and I cannot keep up with it. So I arrive at my destination and I have to come back into my body. You then add time on top of that and you have jet lag! Part of the in-syncness for me in walking is that I move with my body and stay connected. For me, walking is connecting and deepening. I actually deepen my connection with my Self and my body. I do not have to re-connect when I am done walking at the end of the day. The oppposite is true - I am more connected and in sync with myself.
This experience with Grace helped me to name the state of being "in sync" with someone, or even something. It can just be the way it is with someone and usually that person becomes one of our dearest friends or partners. Sometimes, you have to create it with someone, or re-create it. Grace and I are usually very in sync with each other. Yet, given my 5 week absence from her, we have to cultivate our in-syncness again. Nothing wrong, but very important to recognize and honor that my 9 year old daughter has had to learn how to be okay with me around her, calibrating her rhythm, her energy, her being. And so our need to simply spend time together, focused on each other and our relationship, and to get back in sync.
In sync. Dictionary.com defines sync as "harmony or harmonious relationship." It feels good to be in sync with others - these are the people whom I am drawn to and want to be with.
Who are you in sync with? Who are you not?
Going away for 5 weeks gives me the opportunity to confront this. I notice that it can be something I take for granted, sometimes something I long for with someone but can't quite seem to find; at other times may have with someone and then lose it, and am then not sure how to get it back.
As I reflect on this, being in syncness is something I spend a lot of time on, and is one of my prime motivators. Hmm...perhaps we all do. Perhaps not. It seems that being in relationship is so important and necessary for all of us.
While I walked on the Camino, I felt very in sync with myself. Something in the very act and process of walking supports and connects me so that I experience an in-syncness that is comfortable, harmonious, and nourishing, both on a physical and a soul level. I realize that I crave this feeling. I long to walk for hours every day. I love to walk for hours every day. While there are certain terrains and environments that I prefer, I also am happy to just walk. On the Camino, I loved the wide open meseta as much as I loved the rolling green hills of Galicia. Perhaps each occurred at exactly the right time for me, and part of walking is the acceptance of transition and change, even as reflected in the environment around you.
When I walk, I move at a speed that is natural and aligned with my body. I move only as fast as my body can move. I could run, but there is something about the speed of walking that feels inherently "right" for me. The contrast of this is when I fly in an airplane. My body is moving so fast with the help of another vehicle, and I cannot keep up with it. So I arrive at my destination and I have to come back into my body. You then add time on top of that and you have jet lag! Part of the in-syncness for me in walking is that I move with my body and stay connected. For me, walking is connecting and deepening. I actually deepen my connection with my Self and my body. I do not have to re-connect when I am done walking at the end of the day. The oppposite is true - I am more connected and in sync with myself.
~ A true pilgrim is one who takes the lessons gained on pilgrimage and applies them to their lives when they return. ~
How do I bring home this deep rooted in-syncness? How do I continue to cultivate it? How do I be the pilgrim at home? How do I bring the essence of pilgrim into my life at home?
I walk.
I just realized that for me, a pilgrim is one who walks/moves to re-align, re-cognize, and re-connect with the truth, core, and essence of oneself. As we walk, we cultivate a very real experience of being in sync with ourselves, our Self, our Soul, God, the Divine. We get up, we walk; we eat, we walk; we share with others, we walk; we take care of our bodies, we walk; we sleep, we walk.
Every day I must walk. I may not get to walk for 6 or 8 hours. No matter. I must walk. I must allow myself to walk, no matter what.
How is that I can walk for hours a day on the Camino, and then I come home and can forget to walk everyday? The responsibilities of life at home; the more structured time; money; tending to others, the home, work - I allow all of this to call me away from walking, from myself.
Walking to re-align, re-cognize, and re-connect with the truth, core, and essence of oneself is what makes me a pilgrim, every day, no matter where I walk or for how long.
So I make this commitment right here and right now. Every day I walk as a pilgrim. Every day. No matter what. I walk with the intention to be in sync with mySelf. I have my boots, my walking sticks, my back pack with rain and snow gear, and most especially my pilgrim heart with me at all times, so that no matter where I am, I am prepared, ready and willing to walk.
Suseya!
Sahara
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Just Changed the Name and Address of this Blog
I just changed the name of this blog, and the url address as well. The title no longer felt right or appropriate, and it felt really important to have "Celtic Camino" as part of the title and the address. So now the url for this blog is http://celticcamino-pilgrimage.blogspot.com.
Thanks for bearing with these changes.
Thanks for bearing with these changes.
Each stage is only accomplished after an appropriate period of intense and spiritual preparation.
How does "Asking New Questions - Creating New Answers" relate to the Camino?
My intention for this fall was to walk the first leg of the Celtic Camino, from Santiago to Toulouse, which also reflected walking from the first chakra (Santiago) to the second chakra (Toulouse). In walking this journey, I would begin to heal the split that starts in my first chakra and metaphorically continues all the way up to my seventh, or crown chakra. As I have mentioned many times, I have a physical split in my belly that begins right around my second chakra and goes up above my third chakra.
The book that inspired the journey of the Celtic Camino, Rosslyn - Guardian of the Secrets of the Holy Grail, written my Tim Wallace-Murphy and Marilyn Hopkins, describes the journey as a sacred pilgrimage of initiation.
While I thought that I was walking to Toulouse this fall, I know that it was perfect for me to only walk a part of the way, and also to walk the Camino Frances to St. Jean Pied de Port, rather than walk to Toulouse via the Camino Aragones and Somport Pass. I have not yet completed the "appropriate period of intense and spiritual preparation" to be fully initiated into the second chakra. I was not ready to walk all the way to Toulouse.
What I was prepared for was to walk from Santiago, and to move up along the path toward the second chakra. All the work that I have been engaged with over the past eighteen months or so, and with fully engaging and committing to healing the split has been the intense emotional and spiritual preparation for the journey I have just returned home from.
Carolyn Myss (www.myss.com) talks about the first chakra as the foundation for emotional and mental health, and about how our connection to traditional familial beliefs support the formation of identity and our sense of belonging to a group. The issues that can often come up out of first chakra imbalances usually have to do with a concern about belonging, and a fear of abandonment, and also an ability to provide for life's necessities and to stand up for oneself. The sacred truth of the first chakra is that "All is One" and that you are connected to all life.
Leading up to my pilgrimage this fall, I got to confront my first chakra imbalances and challenges. My commitment to undertake this journey triggered events in my life so that I could address these issues. I confronted my making decisions that people I cared about had issues and judgement around. I made a decision that was for me, and did not include others to come along and be a part of. I had to confront my fears of being abandoned, unloved and unaccepted in making this decision to go on the Camino, again. I got to stand up for myself. I got to experience that even though I may make unpopular choices and decisions, and even though this may make me different from others, that underneath it all, WE ARE ALL ONE. This fundamental, sacred truth of the first chakra is actually what supports us to be fully ourselves and to express our uniqueness, because no matter what, we are connected to each other, we are one, and even bigger than that, ALL IS ONE. That every choice I make and every belief I hold exerts an influence on the whole of life, and given this influence, don't I want to contribute with the most positive, loving, compassionate, and creative choices and decisions that I can make?
This is what propelled me from Santiago to St. Jean!
I got to live into, actually walk into, this understanding and this healing. I have come home feeling more clear, and more able to communicate directly and clearly. I have written a few emails that have required some direct communications, and I have been able to write what I really wanted and needed to write. No not saying what I need to say, no apologies, and yet done with love and respect. I am not sure that I would have done that before the Camino. I am also more clear about what I truly desire, and what I want and need to do and accomplish. I have moved more deeply into owning both my dreams and responsibilities, and I standing up for myself as well as my ability to provide for life's necessities and life's dreams and desires. I am excited to be home and to get to step into fulfilling all of this.
In the walking, I also knew that I was not ready to walk the Camino Aragones over Somport Pass to the Via Tolosana to Toulouse. I could feel my resistance and fear to undertaking this part of the journey, especially so late in the season when albergues were closing for the season and snow was likely to be in the Pyrenees, especially at the higher altitudes. It wasn't just fear and resistance. It felt more like I was being guided to let go of what I thought it would/should look like and allow the authentic, and "rightful" journey to be walked. When I listened to and allowed this picture to emerge, everything fell back into balance and into flow again. The Camino guided and provided every step of the way. My commitment was to listen, honor and heed this guidance.
Coming home the next challenges and preparations are revealing themselves. I am being prepared for the next journey, this time to Toulouse and the site of the second chakra.
Visiting by car and getting to touch and see the Eglise Notre Dame la Dalbade in Toulouse sewed the seed for this next leg of the initiation. I knew it was perfect that I had missed the hours when the Church would be open. The sacred places that have been closed when I arrived there are calling me like magnets to come back another time, when I am prepared and ready to receive their gifts. I specifically think of Ermite de San Nicolas, the Church at Eunate, Camino Aragones, Via Tolosana, and Toulouse and the Eglise Notre Dame la Dalbade itself.
Toulouse is calling me, the second chakra is calling me...
Carolyn Myss says that your second chakra is your center for personal power, creativity, sexuality, finances and one-on-one relationships. The sacred truth of the second chakra is to "Honor One Another" and to recognize that every relationship I develop, from casual to intimate, helps me to become more conscious. No union is without its spiritual value.
How perfect that Steve and I are opening to asking new questions and to co-creating our relationship and our lives in a more balanced, co-creative and actually more intimate way...all the issues of the second chakra, of course! Through Steve, I am actually being invited into all the issues of the second chakra, and that I get to deepen and develop my relationship with him, money and work, and ultimately, with myself, and my creativity, sexuality, and power.
The journey continues...as my dear pilgrim sister, Sue Kenney, has so wisely said, "When the Camino ends, the journey begins."
The next leg of the Celtic Camino journey begins. And I choose to continue on the path of this sacred pilgrimage of initiation. Thank you, Celtic Camino. Thank you, Spirit.
Suseya!
Sarah
My intention for this fall was to walk the first leg of the Celtic Camino, from Santiago to Toulouse, which also reflected walking from the first chakra (Santiago) to the second chakra (Toulouse). In walking this journey, I would begin to heal the split that starts in my first chakra and metaphorically continues all the way up to my seventh, or crown chakra. As I have mentioned many times, I have a physical split in my belly that begins right around my second chakra and goes up above my third chakra.
The book that inspired the journey of the Celtic Camino, Rosslyn - Guardian of the Secrets of the Holy Grail, written my Tim Wallace-Murphy and Marilyn Hopkins, describes the journey as a sacred pilgrimage of initiation.
Celtic pilgrims who worshipped the Earth goddess journeyed from Iberia to Scotland via the seven planetary oracles, associating the alignment of the spirit senses within themselves to the corresponding alignment of the Earth chakras...The pilgrimage is not simply one journey encompassing each of the seven sites, but a series of journeys made in a predetermined order, starting with the Druidic oracle at Compostela, representing the base chakra, then moving northwards to each site in the alignment before culminating in Rosslyn, representing the crown chakra. Each stage is only accomplished after an appropriate period of intense and spiritual preparation.I italicized the last sentence because of its pertinence to my experience.
While I thought that I was walking to Toulouse this fall, I know that it was perfect for me to only walk a part of the way, and also to walk the Camino Frances to St. Jean Pied de Port, rather than walk to Toulouse via the Camino Aragones and Somport Pass. I have not yet completed the "appropriate period of intense and spiritual preparation" to be fully initiated into the second chakra. I was not ready to walk all the way to Toulouse.
What I was prepared for was to walk from Santiago, and to move up along the path toward the second chakra. All the work that I have been engaged with over the past eighteen months or so, and with fully engaging and committing to healing the split has been the intense emotional and spiritual preparation for the journey I have just returned home from.
Carolyn Myss (www.myss.com) talks about the first chakra as the foundation for emotional and mental health, and about how our connection to traditional familial beliefs support the formation of identity and our sense of belonging to a group. The issues that can often come up out of first chakra imbalances usually have to do with a concern about belonging, and a fear of abandonment, and also an ability to provide for life's necessities and to stand up for oneself. The sacred truth of the first chakra is that "All is One" and that you are connected to all life.
Leading up to my pilgrimage this fall, I got to confront my first chakra imbalances and challenges. My commitment to undertake this journey triggered events in my life so that I could address these issues. I confronted my making decisions that people I cared about had issues and judgement around. I made a decision that was for me, and did not include others to come along and be a part of. I had to confront my fears of being abandoned, unloved and unaccepted in making this decision to go on the Camino, again. I got to stand up for myself. I got to experience that even though I may make unpopular choices and decisions, and even though this may make me different from others, that underneath it all, WE ARE ALL ONE. This fundamental, sacred truth of the first chakra is actually what supports us to be fully ourselves and to express our uniqueness, because no matter what, we are connected to each other, we are one, and even bigger than that, ALL IS ONE. That every choice I make and every belief I hold exerts an influence on the whole of life, and given this influence, don't I want to contribute with the most positive, loving, compassionate, and creative choices and decisions that I can make?
This is what propelled me from Santiago to St. Jean!
I got to live into, actually walk into, this understanding and this healing. I have come home feeling more clear, and more able to communicate directly and clearly. I have written a few emails that have required some direct communications, and I have been able to write what I really wanted and needed to write. No not saying what I need to say, no apologies, and yet done with love and respect. I am not sure that I would have done that before the Camino. I am also more clear about what I truly desire, and what I want and need to do and accomplish. I have moved more deeply into owning both my dreams and responsibilities, and I standing up for myself as well as my ability to provide for life's necessities and life's dreams and desires. I am excited to be home and to get to step into fulfilling all of this.
In the walking, I also knew that I was not ready to walk the Camino Aragones over Somport Pass to the Via Tolosana to Toulouse. I could feel my resistance and fear to undertaking this part of the journey, especially so late in the season when albergues were closing for the season and snow was likely to be in the Pyrenees, especially at the higher altitudes. It wasn't just fear and resistance. It felt more like I was being guided to let go of what I thought it would/should look like and allow the authentic, and "rightful" journey to be walked. When I listened to and allowed this picture to emerge, everything fell back into balance and into flow again. The Camino guided and provided every step of the way. My commitment was to listen, honor and heed this guidance.
Coming home the next challenges and preparations are revealing themselves. I am being prepared for the next journey, this time to Toulouse and the site of the second chakra.
Visiting by car and getting to touch and see the Eglise Notre Dame la Dalbade in Toulouse sewed the seed for this next leg of the initiation. I knew it was perfect that I had missed the hours when the Church would be open. The sacred places that have been closed when I arrived there are calling me like magnets to come back another time, when I am prepared and ready to receive their gifts. I specifically think of Ermite de San Nicolas, the Church at Eunate, Camino Aragones, Via Tolosana, and Toulouse and the Eglise Notre Dame la Dalbade itself.
Toulouse is calling me, the second chakra is calling me...
 | ||
| Eglise Notre Dame la Dalbade, Toulouse 2010 |
 | |
| Eglise Notre Dame la Dalbade, Toulouse, 2010 |
Carolyn Myss says that your second chakra is your center for personal power, creativity, sexuality, finances and one-on-one relationships. The sacred truth of the second chakra is to "Honor One Another" and to recognize that every relationship I develop, from casual to intimate, helps me to become more conscious. No union is without its spiritual value.
How perfect that Steve and I are opening to asking new questions and to co-creating our relationship and our lives in a more balanced, co-creative and actually more intimate way...all the issues of the second chakra, of course! Through Steve, I am actually being invited into all the issues of the second chakra, and that I get to deepen and develop my relationship with him, money and work, and ultimately, with myself, and my creativity, sexuality, and power.
The journey continues...as my dear pilgrim sister, Sue Kenney, has so wisely said, "When the Camino ends, the journey begins."
The next leg of the Celtic Camino journey begins. And I choose to continue on the path of this sacred pilgrimage of initiation. Thank you, Celtic Camino. Thank you, Spirit.
Suseya!
Sarah
Asking New Questions - Creating New Answers
Every day that I am home from the Camino, I am stepping more fully back into my life here with my family, Steve, work, and finances. Yesterday Steve and I got to spend the day together. We walked into town, ate breakfast at Lucille's, strolled on the Pearl Street Mall, walked home via North Boulder Park, where we lay in the grass and looked up at the clear blue sky until we fell asleep. So nourishing to just get to be together for a chunk of time during the day. For us, being together during the day means we get to be with each other at our best awake hours, and when we like to be with other people. For me, I like to be alone in the early morning hours to sit quietly, write and read. At night, I am just ready to go to sleep. So daytime dates are a new thing for us and I really enjoy them. We are talking about how to create this for ourselves on a weekly basis.
One of Steve's take-aways from my being gone was that he really wants us to become better partners in creating and living our lives. We are both independent people and we now know that we can do just fine and manage our lives, and the kids' lives, without the other one there. In some ways, it's actually easier. The bigger challenge is how do we co-create together? This must sound so funny. I mean, we have been married for nearly 24 years and shouldn't we have figured this out years ago?!
Many years ago a psychic shared an image of us as parallel train tracks who live with the illusion that off in the future and distant horizon, the tracks merge and come together. So we just keep doing what we've been doing in the hopes of that one day, some day, our tracks will cross and we will experience true partnership and intimacy.
We have lived side-by-side for a long time, and it has been comfortable and acceptable for both of us. Somehow, it's what we've known how to do. Most likely, it was modeled for us by our parents. It has been fine, especially since we were both immersed in it. It has been the water we have been swimming in for all this time. But my going away for five weeks creates an opening and a shift, and both a possibility and an opportunity for change.
Steve's request to transform what and how we co-create, co-manage, co-parent, co-habitate provides us with the context to re-enter with each other differently. His speaking it created a new question for us to live into.
Have you ever heard that our lives are a reflection of the answers to the questions we are asking. I love this, and realize that this opening is changing the question that Steve and I have been asking for the past 20 plus years.
It could be so easy to just fall back into the unconscious questions that we have been asking and what is known and familiar, but we both know we want something different. While I had not yet put into words what Steve voiced yesterday, I knew as soon as he started to talk about it that we were on the same page. I even told him that at breakfast. We are coming to this page from different perspectives and experiences, but we do both want the same thing, or at the very least, are both open to asking some new questions about our relationship and the lives we are creating together.
The funny thing is we had talked about co-creating something different for ourselves and our marriage 24 years ago when we first got married, and again when we were pregnant with our first child. And then life happened, and our baby was born, and more babies were born and without realizing it, we fell into what was known, what was safe, and what had been modeled for us.
I know for myself that my maternal instinct and hormones took over as soon as I became pregnant. I had always assumed that I would be a working mother when I had children, but while I was pregnant, I worked in a daycare center for babies and toddlers. This experience radically altered my whole perspective. No way was anyone else going to take care of my child(ren). I wanted be with him, take care of him myself, and much to my own surprise, become a stay-at-home mother. I also wanted to nurse my baby, on demand, from my breast, without having to pump, do bottles and the whole gamut. My desire and mothering instincts took over, and any and all thoughts of Steve and I equally sharing the whole work/financial/child rearing thing went out the window.
All that was okay while we had babies and the children were young, and for us that was quite a while. Four children, born over a span of twelve years, had me being at home with young pre-school ages children, or pregnant and nursing for a long time. In 2000, just when I thought I would be going back "out into the world", I unexpectedly became pregnant with Gracie, and experienced myself pulling back into the home and the coccoon of pregnancy, nursing, being with a baby, then a toddler, then a pre-school aged child, as my other children were dealing with elementary school, then middle school, then high school.
Here we are - Andrew is nearly 21 years old, and Gracie is in fourth grade and in the midst of the 9 year change. She is growing up from a young child to a blossoming girl who's just on the very far edge of beginning to prepare to take the next leap into adolescence. Not a teenager yet, but also not a young 6 year old either.
So, the times they are a-changing. My children are growing up. Steve and I are growing up. I fully realized while on the Camino that I am no longer a younger person. I am now a woman in my 50's, and Steve is a man in his 50's. We are no longer in our 40's and it feels very different. Nothing wrong or bad, but important to acknowledge that our 50's are a new era for us to live into and own. The time is now to ask new questions and to give ourselves a new context out of which to co-create our lives.
Suseya,
Sarah
One of Steve's take-aways from my being gone was that he really wants us to become better partners in creating and living our lives. We are both independent people and we now know that we can do just fine and manage our lives, and the kids' lives, without the other one there. In some ways, it's actually easier. The bigger challenge is how do we co-create together? This must sound so funny. I mean, we have been married for nearly 24 years and shouldn't we have figured this out years ago?!
Many years ago a psychic shared an image of us as parallel train tracks who live with the illusion that off in the future and distant horizon, the tracks merge and come together. So we just keep doing what we've been doing in the hopes of that one day, some day, our tracks will cross and we will experience true partnership and intimacy.
We have lived side-by-side for a long time, and it has been comfortable and acceptable for both of us. Somehow, it's what we've known how to do. Most likely, it was modeled for us by our parents. It has been fine, especially since we were both immersed in it. It has been the water we have been swimming in for all this time. But my going away for five weeks creates an opening and a shift, and both a possibility and an opportunity for change.
Steve's request to transform what and how we co-create, co-manage, co-parent, co-habitate provides us with the context to re-enter with each other differently. His speaking it created a new question for us to live into.
Have you ever heard that our lives are a reflection of the answers to the questions we are asking. I love this, and realize that this opening is changing the question that Steve and I have been asking for the past 20 plus years.
It could be so easy to just fall back into the unconscious questions that we have been asking and what is known and familiar, but we both know we want something different. While I had not yet put into words what Steve voiced yesterday, I knew as soon as he started to talk about it that we were on the same page. I even told him that at breakfast. We are coming to this page from different perspectives and experiences, but we do both want the same thing, or at the very least, are both open to asking some new questions about our relationship and the lives we are creating together.
The funny thing is we had talked about co-creating something different for ourselves and our marriage 24 years ago when we first got married, and again when we were pregnant with our first child. And then life happened, and our baby was born, and more babies were born and without realizing it, we fell into what was known, what was safe, and what had been modeled for us.
I know for myself that my maternal instinct and hormones took over as soon as I became pregnant. I had always assumed that I would be a working mother when I had children, but while I was pregnant, I worked in a daycare center for babies and toddlers. This experience radically altered my whole perspective. No way was anyone else going to take care of my child(ren). I wanted be with him, take care of him myself, and much to my own surprise, become a stay-at-home mother. I also wanted to nurse my baby, on demand, from my breast, without having to pump, do bottles and the whole gamut. My desire and mothering instincts took over, and any and all thoughts of Steve and I equally sharing the whole work/financial/child rearing thing went out the window.
All that was okay while we had babies and the children were young, and for us that was quite a while. Four children, born over a span of twelve years, had me being at home with young pre-school ages children, or pregnant and nursing for a long time. In 2000, just when I thought I would be going back "out into the world", I unexpectedly became pregnant with Gracie, and experienced myself pulling back into the home and the coccoon of pregnancy, nursing, being with a baby, then a toddler, then a pre-school aged child, as my other children were dealing with elementary school, then middle school, then high school.
Here we are - Andrew is nearly 21 years old, and Gracie is in fourth grade and in the midst of the 9 year change. She is growing up from a young child to a blossoming girl who's just on the very far edge of beginning to prepare to take the next leap into adolescence. Not a teenager yet, but also not a young 6 year old either.
So, the times they are a-changing. My children are growing up. Steve and I are growing up. I fully realized while on the Camino that I am no longer a younger person. I am now a woman in my 50's, and Steve is a man in his 50's. We are no longer in our 40's and it feels very different. Nothing wrong or bad, but important to acknowledge that our 50's are a new era for us to live into and own. The time is now to ask new questions and to give ourselves a new context out of which to co-create our lives.
Suseya,
Sarah
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
What I Bring Home from the Camino
Been home just over 3 days now. Yesterday I slept - I took a 3 plus hour nap during the afternoon, and then slept from 8:30 to nearly 4:30 this morning. The heaviness that was hanging on me since Thursday night has lifted. I feel more clear, more here. I am home!
I went for my first walk since being home yesterday morning with Steve. Perfect timing in every way, and the sun was out. A golden autumn morning that turned into wind, dark clouds and rain right after we walked. As I walked, I could feel my body move within itself. What had become stagnant sitting on the plane for 12 hours, flying at superfast speeds, and then feeling jetlagged for 3 days, began to move and shift to release its grip. I felt even more tired when I got home from the walk, but I knew it was the stagnancy moving through. I love to walk. Have I shared that before?! I simply love to walk. Walking is my quiet space, my meditation, my home. I love to walk alone, and I love to walk with loved ones and friends. Getting to walk with Steve yesterday gave us a chance to have a deeper conversation about my Camino, for him to ask me good questions, and for me to ponder and reflect on what he was asking me. Walking slows us down, and allows us to move and travel at a speed that our bodies inherently and naturally move. I feel integrated, whole, and connected when I walk - to myself, my Self, the person(s) I am walking with, the Earth, and Spirit.
Steve asked me several really good questions, one of them being "What are you bringing home from the Camino?" Good question. What am I bringing home?
Wow...I just had to go and visit my emails, Facebook, and my calendar to let that question percolate. I could begin to answer it yesterday while walking, but to answer it here and now by writing it feels like a daunting task.
I may have to spiral around with thoughts and impulses that come up so that I can get to the core of the question and the core of my answer.
I am bringing home that I am a peregrina, a pilgrim. I love to walk. I love to walk the Camino. I love the Camino. I mentioned in an earlier blog that last year I fell in love with the Camino, and this year I got to develop a deeper relationship with it and cultivate a deep love. For me, the Camino is magical, profound, magnetic, resonant. I just love walking the Camino - every day in every way. It resonates deep within my body, and deep within my soul. It just does. It just is. I couldn't even begin to explain why or how. It just is.
This admission of my love for the Camino is opening up my desire, actually my Desire. Feeling into how I feel about the Camino is offering me the opportunity to feel, and know, and acknowledge, and own - what I truly, deeply desire from my heart and soul. I am re-connecting with my Desire.
For me, right now and in this very moment, this is the essence of what I am bringing home from the Camino. My Desire. The Desire and longing, and wanting, and dreaming, from inside of me, from my Self and my Soul. Not what others want for me, or what I should want, but what I want and Desire.
The split between me and what I desire is healing. I can now feel, and know what it is that I desire. I don't have to push it away, minimize it, disregard it. I can just accept and acknowledge it, actually allow it to just be.
Desire is how our Soul communicates to us. It is the guiding light that shines the next step on our divine path for us. Without Desire, we have no rudder to steer or keep us on our path. Each and all of us has a sacred path and task that is ours, and only ours, to fulfill. How can we truly know, deep within our bellies and our being, what our sacred task is without Desire? It shines the light and illuminates the path, the way to fulfill the sacred task(s).
More to be explored...
Suseya!
Sarah
I went for my first walk since being home yesterday morning with Steve. Perfect timing in every way, and the sun was out. A golden autumn morning that turned into wind, dark clouds and rain right after we walked. As I walked, I could feel my body move within itself. What had become stagnant sitting on the plane for 12 hours, flying at superfast speeds, and then feeling jetlagged for 3 days, began to move and shift to release its grip. I felt even more tired when I got home from the walk, but I knew it was the stagnancy moving through. I love to walk. Have I shared that before?! I simply love to walk. Walking is my quiet space, my meditation, my home. I love to walk alone, and I love to walk with loved ones and friends. Getting to walk with Steve yesterday gave us a chance to have a deeper conversation about my Camino, for him to ask me good questions, and for me to ponder and reflect on what he was asking me. Walking slows us down, and allows us to move and travel at a speed that our bodies inherently and naturally move. I feel integrated, whole, and connected when I walk - to myself, my Self, the person(s) I am walking with, the Earth, and Spirit.
Steve asked me several really good questions, one of them being "What are you bringing home from the Camino?" Good question. What am I bringing home?
Wow...I just had to go and visit my emails, Facebook, and my calendar to let that question percolate. I could begin to answer it yesterday while walking, but to answer it here and now by writing it feels like a daunting task.
I may have to spiral around with thoughts and impulses that come up so that I can get to the core of the question and the core of my answer.
I am bringing home that I am a peregrina, a pilgrim. I love to walk. I love to walk the Camino. I love the Camino. I mentioned in an earlier blog that last year I fell in love with the Camino, and this year I got to develop a deeper relationship with it and cultivate a deep love. For me, the Camino is magical, profound, magnetic, resonant. I just love walking the Camino - every day in every way. It resonates deep within my body, and deep within my soul. It just does. It just is. I couldn't even begin to explain why or how. It just is.
This admission of my love for the Camino is opening up my desire, actually my Desire. Feeling into how I feel about the Camino is offering me the opportunity to feel, and know, and acknowledge, and own - what I truly, deeply desire from my heart and soul. I am re-connecting with my Desire.
For me, right now and in this very moment, this is the essence of what I am bringing home from the Camino. My Desire. The Desire and longing, and wanting, and dreaming, from inside of me, from my Self and my Soul. Not what others want for me, or what I should want, but what I want and Desire.
The split between me and what I desire is healing. I can now feel, and know what it is that I desire. I don't have to push it away, minimize it, disregard it. I can just accept and acknowledge it, actually allow it to just be.
Desire is how our Soul communicates to us. It is the guiding light that shines the next step on our divine path for us. Without Desire, we have no rudder to steer or keep us on our path. Each and all of us has a sacred path and task that is ours, and only ours, to fulfill. How can we truly know, deep within our bellies and our being, what our sacred task is without Desire? It shines the light and illuminates the path, the way to fulfill the sacred task(s).
More to be explored...
Suseya!
Sarah
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
The pilgrimage shifts and changes, and continues to guide and provide.
When you come off the Camino, the pace of life inevitably picks up. For 25 days, we walked at most 25 or so kilometers a day, over 6 to 8 hours. Since we rented our little Renault car on Saturday evening, we've traveled about 600 or 700 kilometers in the same amount of time. We have driven down along the Pyrenees to the Mediterranean Sea, and now are over east of Marseilles. That's a lot of ground covered in a very short amount of time.
A very different pilgrimage from the Camino, but still a pilgrimage. What are we doing in France? We are following an inspired path to honor and explore the sacred feminine, yet in a different way from when we walked. Now, we are visiting specific sites that offer us a very specific connection to the sacred feminine. When we walked the Camino, every step was for the sacred feminine. It was a more inward journey. It felt like each step was an invitation and an invocation.
On the train to Paris:
Last year I walked the last 170 kilometers of El Camino de Santiago and then traveled by train the Celtic Camino. I traveled from Santiago up through France to Scotland in 9 days. This year I walked for nearly a month and only got to the border of Spain and France from Santiago! It's all so relative - time and distance wise.
When you travel on a pilgrimage by car or train, the destinations become what is important. The space in between is just somewhere to travel through. The pilgrimage becomes about the experience of being at the destination.
When you walk the pilgrimage path, the time and space inbetween is the pilgrimage. Walking slows the experience down to a pace that demands that the time and space expand to become the experience itself. Walking is the pilgrimage. The destination is a part of the experience, a guidepost along the way, and is not, cannot be the experience itself. You get up, you walk, you eat, you walk, you sleep, you walk. That's what you do, you walk. The journey is in the walking. You get up to walk. You eat to walk. You sleep to walk. You move to walk. It's so simple.
I love to walk. I loved getting to walk for 25 days. I. Just want to keep walking...and walking. I deeply appreciate the simple act of walking. I get to experience all of who I am when I walk - who I am as divine, who I am as human; my fears, doubts, and concerns - my love, faith, and trust; my thinking and my thoughts; my movement and my feelings; my aches and pains, my joys and gratitude. All of me shows up when I walk.
The walking creates the journey, and the journey is the pilgrimage. The space inbetween, the pause in between the breaths, is the journey.
Walking is a natural pace for our human bodies. Yes, we can run to move faster, but on a very basic level, we can only move as fast as our bodies can walk or run. This reality opens up the time-space dynamic so that we can experience what is occurring in the moment, both internally and externally, fully.
When we start to move more quickly than our bodies can move on their own, such as with the help of a bicycle, car, train or airplane, we have to focus on the destination. We cannot experience as fully the moment the more quickly we move. And the faster we move, the more important the destination becomes. Not to say that we cannot enjoy the travel, but travel is the means to the end, not the end in and of itself.
Getting to experience this dynamic of a walking pilgrimage immediately followed by a car/train pilgrimage now twice, I am profoundly aware of how different they feel to me. While I can appreciate the gifts and qualities of both, and have received so much from both.
So, for the past three days, we have been traveling by car from Saint Jean and Bayonne, to Lourdes (unexpected stop on the pilgrimage), Toulouse, Saintes Maries de la Mer, Arles, and Saint Maximin la Sainte-la Baume. The focus was certainly on the destinations, and the time is between fully supported our intention to be at these different wonderful places.
I will share what each of these places was about for us and why we chose to go to each of these places another time. As we head to Paris for the last leg of our journey, there is a perfection and a completion with our experiences over the past few days. We were blessed to still be guided and provided for by the Camino. Magic continued to occur, angels showed up just as and when we needed them, and awareness and understandings impulsed for both of us. Somehow, both pilgrimages were necessary for the whole experience. One without the other would have been incomplete. Two complementary aspects that are working together synergistically to create a more profound whole.
But that's for the next blog.
A bientot!
Suseya,
Sarah
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Lourdes
24+hours later and I am literally miles (or more appropriately kilometers) away from Hunto, Ste. Jean Pied de Port, and the Camino path. I feel sad, I feel happy. I feel far away. I feel close. I feel not quite complete, yet I am complete with walking.
Today we arrived in Ste. Jean just after 10am. We walked 6 kilometers down hill from Hunto where we stayed last night in a small, private albergue that was also part of the hotel. Delicious dinner and breakfast. Fun meal with 5 Spanish men who were walking over to Pamploma for the next 3 days, and whose religion is "futbol".
Walking into Ste. Jean happened so quickly this morning that I thought there must be another town that we walked through first, and then I saw the Porte d'Espagne and knew that we had arrived. We had completed our Camino from Santiago to Ste. Jean. 25 days of walking across Spain, across the Pyrenees, and into France.
We walked up the main street of the old town to the Pilgrim's Office to receive our final stamp. Along the way, we stepped into a shop where Sharon saw a beautiful wool shawl made from the wool of the local sheep. We walked by so many of these sheep as we crossed the Pyrenees. Sharon raised sheep - she used to have a farm school preschool with sheep and goats. That's when we first met - 17 years ago when I saw her flyer for her preschool and knew that she was the answer to my prayers for Andrew's perfect school. She has since been all of my children's preschool teacher. Now we are sisters of the Camino. And the shawl was Sharon's gift to herself for walking over the Pyrenees. The owners' son spoke English and was very helpful and even let me use his phone to make some very necessary calls to change and confirm our plans now that we are off the Camino,.
The Camino continues to guide and provide. We easily took the bus to Bayonne to rent a car; we rented a car right at the train station, walking in just before it closed; my credit card was denied because of a large amount being charged - not sure what to do, I called Steve who was on his way home before heading up to the mountains and out of cell range. He was able to call the credit card company, get it sorted out, and we now have our little black Renault Clio. We left Bayonne as it was getting dark and started to head toward Toulouse. Seeing signs for Lourdres, we decided spontaneously to come here. We found a wonderful little hotel with a very kind hotelier who welcomed us in and confirmed our decision to stay here. All flowed with ease and grace, and I still feel held, guided and provided for by the Camino. Thank you.
I can't quite believe that I am not getting up and walking tomorrow morning. As right as it feels to have finished the Camino, I also just love to walk the path of the pilgrim. I am still completing internally. The external journey may be complete. We may have arrived at our destination. The days of walking day after day may be over until the next pilgrimage. Yet as Sue Kenney so wisely says, "when the Camino ends, the journey begins."
And so the next leg of journey begins, and it begins here in Lourdes. I wonder what we'll experience by going to the grotto where Bernadette saw 18 visions of Mary and received messages. One step at a time, although at times our steps will be taken in our small little Renault going 20 Kilometers in a few minutes, rather than over a whole day.
The life of a modern pilgrim, or is that when we become a tourist?! And with that question, I will end with another - when is a pilgrimage a pilgrimage and not a travel, a walk or a hike, or an exploration?
What makes a pilgrimage a pilgrimage?
Bonsoir.
Suseya,
Sarah
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Friday, October 29, 2010
Crossing the Pyrenees
Today we climbed from Roncevalles (960 meters in altitude) up to the Col de Lepoeder with an altitude of 1,450 meters in a steep climb through beech forests over about 3 or so kilometers. One of my steepest climbs!
Yesterday had been a picture perfect autumn day with clear skies, golden sunshine, and golden and bronze trees all around us. Lovely for walking up to Roncevalles. Today was breezy from the start with a beautiful red sunrise. "...Red sky at dawn - sailors take warning." This was our first clue that today was going to be a very different day from the past few glorious autumn days. As we neared the tree line, and were at the bottom of the last steep climb, the wind picked up and I was grateful that it was at my back. I kept hearing one of Steve's favorite songs in my head -"You are the wind at my back..."- wish I could remember the name of the group who sings it! I had just put back on my wind jacket and when Sharon put hers on right near the top, we almost got blown over.
And that was the beginning of our windy 5 hour walk over the magnificent open hill and moorland on the Camino over the Pyrenees.
Windy does not give our experience justice. We experienced winds like I have never been out in. When it gets this windy like this at home, I go inside. But when you're on the top of the Pyrenees, you haul ass! So that's what we did.
On top of the wind, Sharon has had a hip pain that flared up in the past few days. While it was okay going up, something tweeked it (it may have been the massive, knee high pile of leaves we played in while walking through a high altitude beech forest) and every step became excruciatingly painful. Sharon has an admittedly very high threshold of pain, and this was clearly pushing Sharon's limits. Imagine walking and getting blown so hard by the wind that you have to brace yourself with your leg that is farthest from the wind, and that leg is the one that is sending shooting pain up your body. This was Sharon's experience.
We must have walked for 3 to 4 hours like this. At times I was just asking for help from the Camino to keep us safe and bring us down the mountain safely. I never really felt fear. I was with Sharon and she is an experienced mountaineer, and I knew that the Camino would guide and provide for us. And, I will say, it was a very intense experience.
Sharon thinks we may have experienced this today because I had said what I was quite anxious about was strong winds blowing me off the face of the mountain! Yet when I was up in it, I often experienced myself laughing at the craziness of it all, and even at the notion that this is what I had been really scared of and here I was experiencing it!
I kept thinking I would see the albergue at Orisson down the mountain as we would walk around the next curve. I knew we, and especially Sharon, would be okay if we could just get there. We had just rounded another curve with still no sign of the albergue when a car was coming down the hill. I immediately flagged the driver and asked for a ride to the albergue. He had been hunting pigeons up in the mountains with his dog who was asleep in the back of the car. I knew we had to give up walking and give Sharon's leg a rest. Turns out the albergue was closed so our "ange" (angel) took us to the village of Hunto and waited while we made sure we could stay here. In the less than 10 minutes we were in his car, we drove steeply down to well below the treeline, back to pastures and meadows with sheep and trees and farms, a distance that would have easily taken us another couple of hours. Just before he picked us up, I had been praying to the Mary's for their help since we had just walked by the statue of the Virgin Mary, Vierge d'Orisson moments before. She answered our prayers immediately. The man who picked us up was delighted to help us.
We have showered, lit a fire in the fireplace, had tea with our one apple, little piece of cheese and some figs, and warmed ourselves up. Tomorrow we will walk the final 6 kms into Ste. Jean. It may be in the wind, and rain, or not. However it is, it will be our completion walk of this initial leg of the Celtic Camino.
One last sharing. I realized today on top of the mountain with the winds purifying and cleansing me and my soul is that the Celtic Camino is actually an ancient and sacred Druidic pilgrimage of initiation. It is the Druid Camino. It is so obvious, so clear, that I laughed hard and loud at myself that it took walking several hundred kilometers to have the "eyes to see and the ears to hear" that this is a Druidic pilgrimage. Sharon and I have talked many times about the Druids - experiencing them in the woods and forests as we have walked. We have met pilgrims along the wqy who have seemed like Druids. The trees have held us, given us shelter and strength as we've walked in all the elements. The Earth has guided us letting us know when we were not on the Path. The rain, the sunshine, and yes, even the wind, have been our friends and our guides. We have begun the Druid Camino. We are just about to complete its first leg. And every step of the way I have been walking home into the truth of who I am and the awareness of that Truth. I have been walking home to wholeness.
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Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Alto del Pardon - Hill of Forgiveness
Sleeping behind a monastery tonight in a building that has served the pilgrims since the 11th century. We even had to come throught the church and walk by the altar to get to the albergue. The rooms are cold and we are already in our sleeping bags to keep warm.
Today we walked through the Arga River valley and up and over the "Alto del Perdon" - the Hill of Forgiveness. It was a tough and steep climb up, yet what was the most challenging was the cold wind. I couldn't believe how cold and windy it was. I had my face wrapped, and several layers on as I climbed for 2 to 3 kilometers up to the top of this 750 meter "hill" that also served as a ridge for many giant white windmills. The windmills sounded like airplanes as the roters moved consistently around.
Perdon. Forgiveness. What does it mean to forgive? To forgive implies that wrong was done. But what if that is a belief that in and of itself keeps us in a certain limited mindset? What if what is more true is that everything occurs for a reason, an opportunity for each of us to learn and grow, to become more conscious and loving. What if it's not about forgiveness, but more about compassion - compassionate understanding for ourselves and each other, and perhaps even gratitude, for the opportunities to expand, learn,grow evolve?
The wind and the climb was the perfect experience for me to reflect on forgiveness and compassion, both for myself and for others. I have only briefly touched on this topic here because of today's climb, but it is a subject worth exploring much more deeply,.
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Today we walked through the Arga River valley and up and over the "Alto del Perdon" - the Hill of Forgiveness. It was a tough and steep climb up, yet what was the most challenging was the cold wind. I couldn't believe how cold and windy it was. I had my face wrapped, and several layers on as I climbed for 2 to 3 kilometers up to the top of this 750 meter "hill" that also served as a ridge for many giant white windmills. The windmills sounded like airplanes as the roters moved consistently around.
Perdon. Forgiveness. What does it mean to forgive? To forgive implies that wrong was done. But what if that is a belief that in and of itself keeps us in a certain limited mindset? What if what is more true is that everything occurs for a reason, an opportunity for each of us to learn and grow, to become more conscious and loving. What if it's not about forgiveness, but more about compassion - compassionate understanding for ourselves and each other, and perhaps even gratitude, for the opportunities to expand, learn,grow evolve?
The wind and the climb was the perfect experience for me to reflect on forgiveness and compassion, both for myself and for others. I have only briefly touched on this topic here because of today's climb, but it is a subject worth exploring much more deeply,.
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Monday, October 25, 2010
A full rainbow as we entered Lorca! A great day of ponchos on - ponchos off. In Puenta la Reina for tea - now we walk to the Eunate Church.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Miracles on the Camino
I am sitting here on my bed in the dark in our hotel room in Los Arcos. Today we left the albergue in Atapuerca at 7:30 while it was still dark out and the nearly full moon lit our way from behind. It was a magical time to start walking - quiet, dark, and undisturbed by the activities of the day.
We walked about 19 kilometers today to the small town of Villafranca. We walked though magical oak and pine woods, up and over 3 "mountains" - at this point, they really seem quite easy to walk up and over. There was one point when we questioned which way to go, and we chose to stay on the gravel road which took us down to a very old "ermitage" church by the busy road. It was very unclear how to proceed from there - Sharon went up and I followed guidance first to pee and then to go back down and ask for help. I first asked a Spanish man who didn't know anything, and then asked an older couple who had been picnicking at the ermitage. I saw their French license plates and so asked in French if they knew which way was the Camino al contrairio. The man asked me if I was from Colorado! I was so surprised by the question, and then he said that he was one of the French "chanseurs" - singers. Of course, we met him several days ago just outside of Boadilla, when he and two other women were lying down enjoying the sunshine on a slope off the path. We started talking to them, and found out that they walk sections of the Camino each year and sing Visigoth and some other influence songs in the cathedrals and churches as they walk. They said that so many of the Spanish churches are closed, whereas the French churches are always open. From our request, they then sang us the most beautiful, ancient song. I was so moved by their singing, the music, and their generosity to sing for us. My heart opened, and I knew that we had been sung to by the angels.
To meet two of them again today was truly a gift of serendipity. I knew that was why I was guided to go back down. We hugged and laughed, rejoicing in our connection through the Camino. I walked up the steep hill to meet Sharon (who had come part way back down to tell me that it was the correct way) with such love in my heart and a lightness in my feet and body. I was overjoyed at seeing them again. It felt like magic and another one of my Camino miracles.
I fully expected that we would stay in Villafranca tonight. We had heard about a wonderful albergue that was at the back of a very expensive hotel. The owner walked the Camino years ago and created the albergue as a way to give back to the Camino and to support the pilgrims.
The owner's son was standing at the door and welcomed us in with his delightful English. Turns out that he had lived in Kentucky and Michigan for a year working in the auto industry. Because he spoke English, we could more easily ask him questions about buses. One thing led to another, and after a delicious meal in a wonderful dining room, we found ourselves on a bus, not just to Belagrado but to Logrono, 80 kilometers away.
We have been looking at how far we have to walk and how many days we have to walk, given that we have become very clear that we need to head home much sooner than the original 7 weeks. Since Tami and Amy left yesterday, we have been exploring how to walk to Ste. Jean by Sunday, October 31st,and preferably even Saturday the 30th. Part of this is because the church I want to see in Toulouse is only open on Saturday late afternoons and Sunday mornings, when it is open for mass. It would be so wonderful if we could get to Toulouse Saturday evening and then have the day in Toulouse on Sunday. Plus, then we could fly home the following weekend after several days in southern France, exploring the auspicious sites connected to the Mary's, and three days in Paris, which will include a day trip to Chartres.
To meet this new timetable, we have had to give up some days walking, give up walking the Camino Aragones and the Via Toulasana to Toulouse, and even give up walking about 100 kilometers of the eastern section of the Camino Frances. In some ways, this has been challenging for me to do because of my expectations of walking the entire way to Toulouse, and certainly not skipping entire sections.
This Camino has offered many opportunities for me to choose to remain attached to an idea or listen to, honor, and allow the Camino to guide and provide. The lesson I have been learning is to ask not "what do I have to give up?" but to ask "what do I have to gain?" Every time I choose to allow, I flow with the magic of the Camino and the path unfolds with love, grace, ease and joy.
So, in my allowing the Camino to guide and provide, I am now in Los Arcos, and get to walk for the next 6 or 7 days without getting in a taxi or bus. I just get to walk and to complete this leg of the journey with my own two feet, and experience the magic of simply being a pilgrim who walks because the path is there, and calls on me to walk it.
This year I will go to Toulouse by train. My intention is to still walk the Celtic Camino one stage at a time, and it may take longer than I originally thought it would. We will see. I trust that the Camino will continue to guide and provide every step of the way. I just have to get out of the way and allow the magic to flow.
Buen Camino!
Suseya,
Sarah
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Thursday, October 21, 2010
The "Palencia Camino" with Amy and Tami
We have just arrived in Burgos. Tonight is our celebration with Tami and Amy of their completion of their Camino, the Palencia Camino. They joined us in Leon last Saturday and we started walking the Camino together in Sahagun, just west of the border of the provence of Palencia. We then walked just over 85 kilometers over the next 5 days to Castrojeriz, a quiet town just east of the border of the next provence, Burgos, and perched under a hill that we entered by a 2000 year old Roman road.
Amy and Tami completed their Camino by climbing up a steep hill to the mesa (table) of Alto Mostelares, to an alititude of 900 meters. From the top, we could see back on the beautiful meseta we had walked, the windmill farms, the Palencia mountains to the north, and the endless ploughed fields that were ready for winter and to be planted in the spring. Only a few fields had any signs of the previous season's crop - a few alfalfa and dried sunflowers here and there as we walked by.
We have experienced frosty mornings, radiant sunshine, cool breezes, and long autumn afternoons. We usually got out the door about 8am to enjoy our morning tea and tostada and started walking by 9 or so. We walked until 4 or 5, depending on the day, and although tired and sore at the end of the day, we found the energy to go out for a fun and lively meal with vino tinto or if we were really lucky, vino riojo. We have found out that vino tinto is pilgrim's wine that is more often than not watered down. The good stuff is vino riojo - red wine, not pink!
We mostly walked on paths off the road, sometimes the ancient Roman roads that were made from stone that had been imported to make these roads 2000 years ago. They were straight, raised, flat, and level. On Monday we walked for 12 kilometers through wide open space on such a road. I often wondered how many people, Roman soldiers and Camino pilgrims alike, have walked this road over the past 2000 years. My favorite path was from Villlcazar to Poblacion when we got to walk by a river. They cottonwood trees were golden. The bushes and grasses were in their full autumn splendor and Nature held and nourished me from her very roots in the soil of the Earth. I felt loved, inspired, nurtured, and moved - during this part of the walk, I connected to my Soul and my truth.
We ended the walking today with a final Pilgrim's Lunch at La Taberna in Castrojeriz, sitting outside in the shade enjoying lentil soup, ensalada, beef or fish with patates (fries) and flan for dessert (postre), all with some great wine, lots of laughter and gratitude. The taxi arrived to take us to Burgos as Tami and Amy leave tomorrow for Madrid to fly home on Saturday.
The timing of their visit, and their Camino, has been perfect. Sharon and I walked through our transition with them walking with us. Another blog for the internal journey that occurred simultaneously to the external one, but suffice it for now to say that every step with Tami and Amy has all been a gift of grace and now I am preparing for the next leg of this auspicious journey.
Buen Camino!
Suseya,
Sarah
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Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Meant to send this picture. I was behind them enjoying the quiet of the Meseta.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Tami, Amy and Sharon walking on the 12km ancient Roman road across the Meseta to Carrion de Los Condes.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Amy just shared a great definition of pilgrimage: the course of life on Earth. I love it!
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Friday, October 15, 2010
Resting in Leon
I wrote a blog in Astorga the other night only to have the computer freeze up and lose everything that I wrote. Sigh.
We decided to take the bus to Leon from Astorga, so early yesterday morning we hopped on the bus which took an hour to drive what would have taken us two days to walk! Gives a different perspective on things doesn't it?
Anothper choice offered by La Camina and received by Sharon and me.
I have been experiencing a major transition since leaving Galicia and entering the Camino that I had not walked before. From where I sit right now, I realize that Galicia represents the known and familiar. This is the area of the Camino I had walked last year; its Celtic culture, history and landscape felt so familiar and magical to me; I resonated with it with every cell of my being. I have also been realizing that last year's Camino was a very romantic experience for me. I loved the landscape; the people, the food. I loved the pilgrim group that I walked with. I had no problems with my feet or legs. I just got to walk, and marvel, and love my experience.
This Camino is a different experience. While I am still loving the experience and feel so grateful and blessed to be back here walking as a pilgrim, it is more than a romantic experience. Last year I got to fall in love with the Camino. This year I get to develop my relationship with it. I get to get to know it in a more real way. I get to have blisters and painfully sore legs. I get to walk on asphalt paths next to roads for many kilometers. I get to keep walking and choosing to walk every day.
Every day the Camino offers choices and opportunities. Every day the Camino guides and provides. Every day.
Part of what this transition offers is the opportunity to clarify what this journey is really all about for us. When we pass the many pilgrims on their way to Santiago, some of them will ask us what we're doing. Most often, our short and simple response is "Camino al contrairio." This means we are walking back to Ste. Jean from Santiago - going back. This is not true, but it suffices people's curiosity without us having to go into a full explanation. It was also a more satisfactory explanation at the beginning of our journey when I was still stepping into the full expression of this pilgrimage. Now, as I sit and write this blog in the same hotel I stayed in last year to begin the journey, and recognize that this is the last taste of familiarity, I know and honor that I am fully stepping into the unknown when I leave Leon on Sunday.
As I continue to travel this Celtic Camino, and walk the first leg to Toulouse, I am aware of something shifting and changing within me, and with the Camino itself. I can feel the feminine emerging from the path more and more. It is becoming less about the destination and more about the process of getting there, who I choose to be on the path,and how I choose to be awake and listen to the choices and the opportunities that the Camino offers.
I had written in the blog that got lost about the many wonderful conversations that we have had with other pilgrims at the perfect times. There has been this quality of simultaneous giving and receiving that has been an experience of grace. As we offer them something of value to their journey, so these pilgrims and people along the way, from albergue owners, to taxi drivers, to shop owners, have offered us gifts of such value that they have changed the course of our journey and given us choices that have profoundly contributed to our pilgrimage. Lorraine, from California, mentions to us about having her "mochila" or backpack transported from albergue to albergue; we then choose to do the same thing, only to find out that the service doesn't operate al contrairio. So the albergue owner in Molinaseca offers to take our bag over to Rabanal and visit with their friends there so that we can walk the mountain pass with less weight. The Camino guides and provides.
Every day in every way, we get to experience this beauty and magic.
I am so grateful.
Will finish up now to shower and take that extra stuff to the post office! And to enjoy Leon. More later.
Suseya!
Sarah
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Sunday, October 10, 2010
Stepping into the Mystery
Today I walked on a new path for the first time. By this I mean that we came to the Albergue Brazil where I started my Camino a year ago. We came down the rest of the mountain first thing this morning, and stopped by the Albergue Brazil to say hello from Sue Kenney to the owners of the albergue. At this point, the sun came out and I could feel that I was stepping into something new and unknown. I was no longer in Galicia, I was down off the Cebreiro mountain, there were no longer the familiar Galician Camino kilometer markers, the yellow arrows became fewer and fewer, and I had not walked the Valcarce Valley before.
Also, Chris, a pergrina from Victoria, B.C., shared a story with me that she had met a woman who walked the Camino each day for a different person. I loved this idea, so today walked the Camino for my family. With every step I walked, I walked for my children and my husband.
The 13 or so kilometers from Vega del Valcarce to Villafranca are mostly on an asphalt road. The valley is steep and narrow, carved out by the beautiful rambling Rio Valcarce. There was not room for path and road, so the peregrinos share the road with the cars. There is, however, a highway, or autovia as it is called in Spain. It is a new road that is often propped up by large concrete pillars where the highway crosses over the valley high above the valley floor. There are also areas where the sides of the mountains have been carved away to make room for the road. The blessing is that the lower road is now much quieter without all of the trucks and traffic. The downside is man´s attacking nature to make way for such a road.
It took Sharon and I about 4 hours to walk down the valley and into Villafranca. We still have not had a day without rain. This time we could feel the clouds becoming heavy, so had all of rain gear on and ready for when the rains came. We actually welcomed the rains as our friend. We now know it well, and it gives us a quiet, meditative time to walk. Sometimes I think that I actually prefer it to the hot sun.
This day seemed to hold magical qualities. The sound of the river as it rolled down the valley was soothing as my feet could rarely find the soft earth. We walked on asphalt most of the time, separated from the main road by concrete barriers. The town of Tribaldo came just when I needed a lunch break. I say "I" because Sharon eats very differently from me. At the beginning of the Camino, I tried to match my meals and eating habits to match hers. This was not a good idea. I do much better when I eat real food and enjoy the local cuisine. For some reason, I can eat wheat when I walking the Camino, and I enjoy the "boccolino" sandwiches - fresh hunks of bread with cheese and ham. Nothing like I would eat at home, but when I am walking hours each day, I love to really eat. Also, my other treat has become to drink a Coca-Cola - something else I never do at home but so appreciate when I am walking!
The highlight of today was seeing a man in a kilt approaching me about 4 or so kilometers from Villafranca. We talked for a short while. His name is David, and this is the second time he is walking the Camino this year! He was so high from the first time he wanted to walk it again! He also told me that he spent the past 8 years working and living at Findhorn up in Scotland and recently made Dunblaine his base which has easier access for traveling back and forth to the Camino. I felt so uplifted by meeting him. His Scottish accent, his sparkling eyes, the kilt, and his radiance touched me very deeply. I felt as though I met my Celtic Angel as I entered into this new phase of the Celtic Camino. I stepped deeply into the unknown today and I met a Celtic Angel. We hugged, and kissed check to check back and forth and we both just laughed. Such a chance encounter and such a blessing. The Camino continually guides and provides, every step of the way.
We are at a lovely albergue on the western edge of town. Our laundry is being cleaned and dried for us for €5, we are showered, and tonight I am looking forward to putting my feet up, reading and writing and falling asleep. They have breakfast here for us so we will start the day with a simple, and delicious meal, and be on our way to Pontferrada and beyond.
Buen Camino!
Suseya,
Sarah
Also, Chris, a pergrina from Victoria, B.C., shared a story with me that she had met a woman who walked the Camino each day for a different person. I loved this idea, so today walked the Camino for my family. With every step I walked, I walked for my children and my husband.
The 13 or so kilometers from Vega del Valcarce to Villafranca are mostly on an asphalt road. The valley is steep and narrow, carved out by the beautiful rambling Rio Valcarce. There was not room for path and road, so the peregrinos share the road with the cars. There is, however, a highway, or autovia as it is called in Spain. It is a new road that is often propped up by large concrete pillars where the highway crosses over the valley high above the valley floor. There are also areas where the sides of the mountains have been carved away to make room for the road. The blessing is that the lower road is now much quieter without all of the trucks and traffic. The downside is man´s attacking nature to make way for such a road.
It took Sharon and I about 4 hours to walk down the valley and into Villafranca. We still have not had a day without rain. This time we could feel the clouds becoming heavy, so had all of rain gear on and ready for when the rains came. We actually welcomed the rains as our friend. We now know it well, and it gives us a quiet, meditative time to walk. Sometimes I think that I actually prefer it to the hot sun.
This day seemed to hold magical qualities. The sound of the river as it rolled down the valley was soothing as my feet could rarely find the soft earth. We walked on asphalt most of the time, separated from the main road by concrete barriers. The town of Tribaldo came just when I needed a lunch break. I say "I" because Sharon eats very differently from me. At the beginning of the Camino, I tried to match my meals and eating habits to match hers. This was not a good idea. I do much better when I eat real food and enjoy the local cuisine. For some reason, I can eat wheat when I walking the Camino, and I enjoy the "boccolino" sandwiches - fresh hunks of bread with cheese and ham. Nothing like I would eat at home, but when I am walking hours each day, I love to really eat. Also, my other treat has become to drink a Coca-Cola - something else I never do at home but so appreciate when I am walking!
The highlight of today was seeing a man in a kilt approaching me about 4 or so kilometers from Villafranca. We talked for a short while. His name is David, and this is the second time he is walking the Camino this year! He was so high from the first time he wanted to walk it again! He also told me that he spent the past 8 years working and living at Findhorn up in Scotland and recently made Dunblaine his base which has easier access for traveling back and forth to the Camino. I felt so uplifted by meeting him. His Scottish accent, his sparkling eyes, the kilt, and his radiance touched me very deeply. I felt as though I met my Celtic Angel as I entered into this new phase of the Celtic Camino. I stepped deeply into the unknown today and I met a Celtic Angel. We hugged, and kissed check to check back and forth and we both just laughed. Such a chance encounter and such a blessing. The Camino continually guides and provides, every step of the way.
We are at a lovely albergue on the western edge of town. Our laundry is being cleaned and dried for us for €5, we are showered, and tonight I am looking forward to putting my feet up, reading and writing and falling asleep. They have breakfast here for us so we will start the day with a simple, and delicious meal, and be on our way to Pontferrada and beyond.
Buen Camino!
Suseya,
Sarah
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Day 8 - La Faba
We walked 17 kms today up and over Cebreiro mountain. We left Angela's albergue in Fonfria at around 9 or so in the drizzling rain but no wind. It was so wonderful to see Angela again. Since I saw her last May a year ago, she met Pedro salsa dancing in Ponferrada (she said that dancing is her passion) and two months ago, they got married. She seems so happy. In her words, she goes to sleep dancing and wakes up dancing.
Today was a great day of walking. After taking an easy day yesterday that included a taxi from Samos to Triacastela and only walking 9 kms up to Fonfria, both my legs and feet (blisters on my right foot pinky toe) as well as Sharon's left leg and right knee are starting to feel a lot better. It turns out that my skin rash on my shins was a sign of overwalking, not enough cushion in my boots, and needing to use poles. Since buying poles in Sarria and using them for the past 50 or so kms, plus making sure that I was taking ibuprofen, my legs have been feeling better and better. I am still a little swollen after walking, but I am learning to put my legs up whenever I can.
Already this Camino is so different from my first one, on so many levels. Last time, no blisters, no leg issues and warm sunshine after getting out of the mountains. This time, blisters, leg issues, lots of rain and cloudy overcast skies everyday. I expected it to be different, of course, but you really never know exactly how.
Today is also the last full day of walking "Al contrairio" of what I walked last year. Tomorrow our plan is to get up and finish walking down the mountain and have tea at Vega del Valcarce, where I stepped onto the Camino a year ago. I am both excited and nervous to step completely into the new and unknown.
Even with having walked this part of the path before, it can still be challenging to walk in this direction. In the little villages, it can be unclear which path is the Camino. Two days ago, our intention was to walk from Sarria to Samos. Somehow (and I still don't understand quite what happened) we ended up on the path that went directly to Triacastela, without going via Samos. In the little village of Montan, we asked which was the path to Samos. An older woman carrying a homemade bottle of "vino tinto" (red wine) took us down the hill, with tears in her eyes as she talked to us about the convent in Samos. She pointed us in the direction of Samos and watched us as we walked up the hill. Only when we walked a kilometer or two did I put it all together and realize that we had actually been on the path to Triacastela and not on the road to Samos at all. No wonder I didn't remember the 9th century pre-Romanesque church we walked by. I had never seen it before!
We ended up walking a quiet cross road to Samos for at least 6 or 7 kilometers. Beautiful, but not the Camino and it was all walking on asphalt. It was so hard on our feet and legs. This was when my leg hurt the most and it took everything I had to just keep walking. I sang "joyfully, easily, lovingly and gracefully" in a random order for many kilometers. We wanted to go to Samos to stay at the monastery, but ended staying in the hotel across the street with our own private bathroom and room. After our expedition, we both just needed to quietly regroup and tend to our feet and legs.
This is why we ended up taking a taxi to Triacastela!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Arzua
A long wet and rainy day from Arca to Arzua. We walked about 20 kilometers today, pretty much in rain the entire time. Pilgrims heading toward Santiago are saying that this is their first day of rain on their whole Camino. Day 2 and we already have pouring rain! I have been told that one experiences exactly what one needs to experience on the Camino, including the weather. These pilgrims are getting their first rain with only 2 days to go; so it's different experiences for everyone.
We walked through small villages, eucalyptus and oak tree woods, and fields of autumn corn. It felt like we walked down into several river valleys and then climbed back up again. Tomorrow I believe we walk up and down 6 river valleys on our way to Casa Dominga, this side of Palais de Rei.
One of the challenges of walking "Al Contrairio" is that it is not always as obvious which is the right way to go. Twice today we took a wrong turn. One took us along a flat road and we realized quite quickly that we had made a wrong turn. As we found our way back to the Camino, an older woman was very insistent that we were going the wrong way! With our limited Spanish, we were able to communicate to her that we wanted to go the "wrong" way.
Second time we went down a big hill, which meant we had to climb back up the big hill to find the right turn off. That was hard as it was near the end of the day, we were tired, and it was raining quite hard at the time.
Sharon and I are creating a nice walking rhythm together, and also an evening rhythm. The past 2 nights we have eaten dinner early, and then come back to the albergue, showered, done laundry, taken time for writing, and then gone to bed early. I am still adjusting to the time change so last night didn't sleep deeply until after midnight, even though I was exhausted and my legs ached from walking all day.
The most poignant part of today's experience was walking in all day in the rain. If we had been at home, we probably would have put off our walk until a nicer day. As a pilgrim, all there is to do is to walk, no matter what the weather.
Buen Camino!
Suseya,
Sarah
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Friday, October 1, 2010
We are here in Santiago!
We are home in our hotel room having spent a wonderful, rainy day in Santiago. We didn´t wake up until 11:30 after sleeping 12 hours! Guess the night of not sleeping because of traveling over here caught up with us! The sad part was missing meeting with Ivar of the Camino Travel Center at 11am. I was really looking forward to meeting with him over a cup of coffee. Because I thought I had lost my sunglasses (which it turns out I had not - I had just not looked for them in the right place) we received the blessing of going through these powerful doors and just getting to be with the Black Madonna. I realized that this was truly the reason that I wanted to come back to the Cathedral, to be with this particular statue, and to re-confirm the true intention for my walking the Celtic Camino, and to give thanks for her blessings and guidance along the way.
The other reason was to experience the swinging of the Botafumeiro at the end of the Mass in the Cathedral. Thinking that we had slept through this Mass, I had completely let it go, only to go back to the Cathedral later in the afternoon and realize a Mass was in session. Lots of school aged kids were there, and the songs were joyous and light hearted. When the priest mentioned the Botafumeiro, everyne got very excited and even clapped. Imagine a three foot silver cannister filled with lit incense that was held down from a massive ceiling by a ten inch in diameter rope. It takes half a dozen monks to pull the rope so that the heavy cannister starts to swing across the transcept ultimately from ceiling to ceiling. Sharon and I were standing under the spot where the Butafumeiro swept up from the crowd into the air. It was exhilarating and powerful to be standing just under it. I felt it sweep up my body as it lifted in to the air, cleansing me as it whooshed by my body. Just as powerful I felt it sweep down my body as it came back to the center of the church. Again, I felt so grateful that we just happened to go to the Church at this time and that we both got to experience the powerful swinging of the giant incense burner originally used to fumigate the sweaty and smelly pilgrims.
One last sharing before I finish here to shower and pack. Yesterday I had to pee very badly and public toilets are hard to find. Directed to go behind the Paza de Roxio, now a government building, I discovered a small church, Igrexa de San Frustucso. I am intrigued to find out more about this church as it felt very feminine and ¨hidden in plain sight¨. It was so close to the Cathedral, yet separated by the government building, yet right there facing the massive cathedral. So easily not noticed, yet so beautiful in its own right. A wide and round ¨tower in the middle of the church with a relatively new facade on the front. I am intrigued, and I realized tonight that this is where I want to begin our pilgrimage of the Celtic Camino tomorrow morning.
I will write again in the next few days.
Suseya!
Sarah
The other reason was to experience the swinging of the Botafumeiro at the end of the Mass in the Cathedral. Thinking that we had slept through this Mass, I had completely let it go, only to go back to the Cathedral later in the afternoon and realize a Mass was in session. Lots of school aged kids were there, and the songs were joyous and light hearted. When the priest mentioned the Botafumeiro, everyne got very excited and even clapped. Imagine a three foot silver cannister filled with lit incense that was held down from a massive ceiling by a ten inch in diameter rope. It takes half a dozen monks to pull the rope so that the heavy cannister starts to swing across the transcept ultimately from ceiling to ceiling. Sharon and I were standing under the spot where the Butafumeiro swept up from the crowd into the air. It was exhilarating and powerful to be standing just under it. I felt it sweep up my body as it lifted in to the air, cleansing me as it whooshed by my body. Just as powerful I felt it sweep down my body as it came back to the center of the church. Again, I felt so grateful that we just happened to go to the Church at this time and that we both got to experience the powerful swinging of the giant incense burner originally used to fumigate the sweaty and smelly pilgrims.
One last sharing before I finish here to shower and pack. Yesterday I had to pee very badly and public toilets are hard to find. Directed to go behind the Paza de Roxio, now a government building, I discovered a small church, Igrexa de San Frustucso. I am intrigued to find out more about this church as it felt very feminine and ¨hidden in plain sight¨. It was so close to the Cathedral, yet separated by the government building, yet right there facing the massive cathedral. So easily not noticed, yet so beautiful in its own right. A wide and round ¨tower in the middle of the church with a relatively new facade on the front. I am intrigued, and I realized tonight that this is where I want to begin our pilgrimage of the Celtic Camino tomorrow morning.
I will write again in the next few days.
Suseya!
Sarah
Monday, September 27, 2010
Keyboard Test
I am testing my new portable keyboard. It's taking a little getting used to the placement of the keys but I am loving getting to use my phone for a screen without having to type on my phone one finger at a time. This is worth every ounce of weight and it's only 1pound - way less than the 3 pounds of a netbook. This is so cool! So now I'm going to practice sending this to my blog site too!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Testing
Good morning. Sending this post from my phone.
Suseya!
Suseya!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Thoughts and Musings as I prepare for my Journey
I leave for the Camino in 11 days. I am excited. I am nervous. I am scared. I am blessed. I am grateful. I don't want to leave my family, yet I do want to walk the Celtic Camino. Why am I even doing this? Why am I being called? Life is good here. I love my family. I love my home. I love my life. Even as I type this, I can feel that I love all of this because I am simultaneously aware and responding to the calling. I can be more present here, more grateful because I am returning to the Camino. I say returning but really it is not returning. I may be going back to the same places (at least for the first 2 weeks) but they are not the same. I am not the same. I am responding to the call of the Celtic Camino. It has called me for years. It first came in the form of the Camino de Santiago calling me. As I got closer to actually going on it, the Camino became more specific with me, and let me know that my journey is the Celtic Camino, the sacred pilgrimage of initiation from Santiago up through France to Scotland. First by train. Now by foot. I am to walk the Celtic Camino.
In two weeks, I begin the pilgrimage in Santiago, Earth's root chakra, and begin the journey to Toulouse, the second or sacral chakra. We will walk the Camino de Santiago "al contrairio" for the first 28 days and then we will turn south onto the Camino Aragonés through the Aragon Valley of Spain, and Via Tolosana through France to Toulouse.
I am walking with my soul sister, Sharon Sofia. I am so blessed and honored that she wants to walk with me. In August, Sharon shared with me that she woke up one morning, knowing that she was to walk the Camino this fall. This was the invitation from the Camino. I knew as soon as she shared this with me that we were to walk together this fall, not at some later, safer, more distant date in the future. This invitation brought the Camino right in to the present.
I said "yes" and here I am, 11 days out from leaving all that is familiar and safe to embark on a journey into the unknown, into walking over 1100 kilometers/725 miles, into an intimate and immediate journeying on the pilgrimage of initiation.
In 2009, I traveled this journey by train with my daughter. We traveled it for about 10 days. It was like an introductory visit, and yet was an initiation in and of itself. I often asked what I was being initiated into. I knew that I had been guided to make this journey, but I was not completely sure why. I trusted the impulse and the invitation, and I accepted. Yet to travel by train felt like a skimming over the path, rather than a direct engaging with the path itself.
Even still, I had initiated the initiation.
From where I sit, and stand today, my understanding is that I was initiated into the journey to "heal the split" for myself, for humanity, for the Earth, and for the cosmos. I just realized that I began the physical healing of the split back in the beginning of January, 9 months ago. Nine months, the gestation period. I am now getting ready to birth into the next level of healing. For the past 9 months, I have focused on healing the split in my belly, first through Pilates, and for the past 5 months with an intuitive physical therapist, Lynn Leech (www.IntuitiveHandsPT.com) to strengthen the transverse muscle and pull the muscles back together. When I started working with Lynn, my split was more than 3 fingers wide and deep. Now, after daily exercises along with deep inner work, I am less than 2 fingers wide with the lower part of the split healed and only 1 finger wide at the top. I am smiling just at the recognition that my split is healing and I am starting to feel my core strengthen!
Now healing the split expands from my belly into my legs and my entire body, as I will be walking and carrying a 20 pound pack for over 40 days for an average of 25 to 30 kilometers a day. Very physical. I have walked at most 10 days and 170 kilometers when I walked the Camino last year. This year I am being asked to expand and do something I have not done before, again. Last year truly was the preparation for the journey I am undertaking this year. Last year's journey gave me the confidence, familiarity, foundation and map for my pilgrimage that I begin this year.
My intention is to heal the split as I walk from one chakra to the next. I imagine that as I walk, I deepen the physical healing of the split in my belly, I deepen the connection with my Self, I cultivate my connection to the Sacred Feminine and the Black Madonna, and that this is both internal and external. Internal in that I connect deeply with the sacred feminine within myself; external in that I will get to experience ancient sacred Black Madonna art objects in Santiago and Toulouse, as well as places in between, and that I will be walking the ancient ley line of the Camino that follows or reflects the Milky Way. I have this deep sense that the Camino is an ancient feminine path. Images of the feminine are all along the Camino, even if the Catholic Church has taken them over and claimed them for their own. My intention is to "have eyes to see, and ears to hear" Her, and to recognize these images and symbols for what they really are and to unearth, or uncover the truth of their feminine origins. I keep feeling this impulse to bring the feminine into the light, without cutting her off from her roots. So perhaps more accurately, my intention is to connect with the underground feminine current of this path, to receive its guidance, impulse, and nourishment, and through my walking and my presence, bring this beauty and power into the light. This path has been walked from the top down with the Catholic ideas of Heaven, God, spiritual power or enlightenment. I want to walk it from the Earth up. With each and every step, my intention is to connect with the core of the Earth, its Heart, the Heart of the Feminine, the Body, the pulses, currents and energy of the Earth and infuse the Camino with Her energy, love and beauty.
This is in part why I have had to heal my own split, so that I can be a cohered container, a chalice, for this immense energy of the feminine. I need to be able to contain this energy as I walk, actually as I live. In my containment of the energy is the possibility of the Feminine engaging with the masculine, the light from above, through me, as I walk this sacred path. It is actually possible in and through all of us...I am simply one person aligning with her path and choosing this as my intention.
Suseya!
Sarah
In two weeks, I begin the pilgrimage in Santiago, Earth's root chakra, and begin the journey to Toulouse, the second or sacral chakra. We will walk the Camino de Santiago "al contrairio" for the first 28 days and then we will turn south onto the Camino Aragonés through the Aragon Valley of Spain, and Via Tolosana through France to Toulouse.
I am walking with my soul sister, Sharon Sofia. I am so blessed and honored that she wants to walk with me. In August, Sharon shared with me that she woke up one morning, knowing that she was to walk the Camino this fall. This was the invitation from the Camino. I knew as soon as she shared this with me that we were to walk together this fall, not at some later, safer, more distant date in the future. This invitation brought the Camino right in to the present.
I said "yes" and here I am, 11 days out from leaving all that is familiar and safe to embark on a journey into the unknown, into walking over 1100 kilometers/725 miles, into an intimate and immediate journeying on the pilgrimage of initiation.
In 2009, I traveled this journey by train with my daughter. We traveled it for about 10 days. It was like an introductory visit, and yet was an initiation in and of itself. I often asked what I was being initiated into. I knew that I had been guided to make this journey, but I was not completely sure why. I trusted the impulse and the invitation, and I accepted. Yet to travel by train felt like a skimming over the path, rather than a direct engaging with the path itself.
Even still, I had initiated the initiation.
From where I sit, and stand today, my understanding is that I was initiated into the journey to "heal the split" for myself, for humanity, for the Earth, and for the cosmos. I just realized that I began the physical healing of the split back in the beginning of January, 9 months ago. Nine months, the gestation period. I am now getting ready to birth into the next level of healing. For the past 9 months, I have focused on healing the split in my belly, first through Pilates, and for the past 5 months with an intuitive physical therapist, Lynn Leech (www.IntuitiveHandsPT.com) to strengthen the transverse muscle and pull the muscles back together. When I started working with Lynn, my split was more than 3 fingers wide and deep. Now, after daily exercises along with deep inner work, I am less than 2 fingers wide with the lower part of the split healed and only 1 finger wide at the top. I am smiling just at the recognition that my split is healing and I am starting to feel my core strengthen!
Now healing the split expands from my belly into my legs and my entire body, as I will be walking and carrying a 20 pound pack for over 40 days for an average of 25 to 30 kilometers a day. Very physical. I have walked at most 10 days and 170 kilometers when I walked the Camino last year. This year I am being asked to expand and do something I have not done before, again. Last year truly was the preparation for the journey I am undertaking this year. Last year's journey gave me the confidence, familiarity, foundation and map for my pilgrimage that I begin this year.
My intention is to heal the split as I walk from one chakra to the next. I imagine that as I walk, I deepen the physical healing of the split in my belly, I deepen the connection with my Self, I cultivate my connection to the Sacred Feminine and the Black Madonna, and that this is both internal and external. Internal in that I connect deeply with the sacred feminine within myself; external in that I will get to experience ancient sacred Black Madonna art objects in Santiago and Toulouse, as well as places in between, and that I will be walking the ancient ley line of the Camino that follows or reflects the Milky Way. I have this deep sense that the Camino is an ancient feminine path. Images of the feminine are all along the Camino, even if the Catholic Church has taken them over and claimed them for their own. My intention is to "have eyes to see, and ears to hear" Her, and to recognize these images and symbols for what they really are and to unearth, or uncover the truth of their feminine origins. I keep feeling this impulse to bring the feminine into the light, without cutting her off from her roots. So perhaps more accurately, my intention is to connect with the underground feminine current of this path, to receive its guidance, impulse, and nourishment, and through my walking and my presence, bring this beauty and power into the light. This path has been walked from the top down with the Catholic ideas of Heaven, God, spiritual power or enlightenment. I want to walk it from the Earth up. With each and every step, my intention is to connect with the core of the Earth, its Heart, the Heart of the Feminine, the Body, the pulses, currents and energy of the Earth and infuse the Camino with Her energy, love and beauty.
This is in part why I have had to heal my own split, so that I can be a cohered container, a chalice, for this immense energy of the feminine. I need to be able to contain this energy as I walk, actually as I live. In my containment of the energy is the possibility of the Feminine engaging with the masculine, the light from above, through me, as I walk this sacred path. It is actually possible in and through all of us...I am simply one person aligning with her path and choosing this as my intention.
Suseya!
Sarah
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