Wednesday, May 26, 2010

A Beautiful Copper Cauldron

Yesterday I shared this blog site with Lynn, the PT with whom I am working to physically heal the split.  Someone actually read this blog!  I really am coming out of the closet now!  A few weeks ago I wouldn't have been ready for that, but I realize when I read Lynn's comment on yesterday's post, that I am actually okay with her both reading it and sharing it with others.  She has a fan page on Facebook all about healing the split that is designed more for postpartum women if you want to check it out.

Lynn loved the word EMBELLIED.  So do I!  It's a great word and I think that I am going to start a revolution.  No, an EVOLUTION!  Women around the globe becoming embellied.  You know, this is a radical notion and at the same time, it only brings us home to our wholeness.  It's full circle once again.  At some point way back when, we all were embellied.  It was our natural state of being.  Think back to paintings from the Renaissance.  Women didn't have flat little bellies.  They had beautiful round bellies.  Yet as I  write this, I don't think of Renaissance women being especially empowered.  I am imagining women in their bellies, fully in their bodies, connected to their passion, creativity, aliveness.  Their feet are rooted to the Earth, their arms and minds are connected to the stars, and their hearts are the open conduit for the wisdom and love to flow back and forth between the stars and Earth and then be expressed and shared with the world.

Embellied women are empowered women who love with an open heart, who create with an open heart, who move with an open heart, and who contribute with an open heart, and who have a very clear sense of who they are, what works and doesn't work for them, and where their boundaries are.  Embellied women are open, clear, strong, powerful, and mindful.

The picture of who and what an EMBELLIED woman is becomes clearer and clearer for me.

The seed has been planted, and it is going to become a strong and beautiful plant.

I must be becoming an EMBELLIED woman myself, otherwise this idea wouldn't have a place within me to take root.  Our bellies are like containers, the chalice.  The chalice is filled with the soil of the Earth.  It can be rich, soft, dark crumbly soil full of life and compost, or it can be dry, barren, hard, lifeless clay-like soil, or somewhere in between.   The beauty is that we can transform the soul - there is it again.  Every time I type the word "soil" I first type the word "soul."  Hmmm...seems to me that there must be a connection here.  What is the connection between "soil" and "soul"?

Perhaps the condition of the soil is created out of and determined by the connection to our soul.  When we are connected to our soul, we are willing to do the emotional work to till the soil and turn our fear, shame, anger, blame and guilt into compost for the soil.  As we clear out these negative emotions, we clear the connection to who we truly are and live more and more from our deep connection to ourselves and to Spirit/God/Source, whatever name works for you.  Then, there is light within the soil, sparks of divine light that feed the soil, illuminate our souls and shine out from within us and inform our daily actions, our interactions and our creations. 

I am having so much fun writing this, imagining this, feeling this within myself - feeling this in my belly!

As I lay in bed this morning waking up to write, I became aware of how my belly is feeling different.  I feel more cohered in my belly.  It doesn't feel so "leaky."  I keep seeing this beautiful copper cauldron in my belly.  It is hand hammered to create the beautiful round shape.  It is solid, yet open at the top.  The thickness of the copper is perfect.  Not too thick so that it was heavy and clunky.  Not too thin that it would be weak and ineffective.  Just the right thickness for the cauldron to do its job of containing, holding, protecting, and also then offering.  I just found a picture of a copper cauldron that I thought I would insert.

This is an embellied copper cauldron!  Is she beautiful? 

What is happening for me is that I am cultivating and creating in a new way, yet in a way that I always knew that I could.  I am focused and yet in the flow.  I am containing and holding all of the ideas and impulses of what I want to create, and I am moving and expressing these ideas.  I realized last night that before it has felt like I would have an idea and then it would leak right out of me, and before I could act on it, the energy to create it had dissipated or leaked out entirely.  Needless to say, this has been so frustrating and challenging.  I am, like every woman, whether or not we believe it about ourselvse, inherently creative and resourceful.  Yet the energy to create and manifest would leak out of my leaky belly.  Imagine a copper colander!  No wonder I haven't been able to create and manifest like I have wanted to and knew that I could.

I am recognizing that I really haven't needed to beat myself up over this.  Believe me, I have - many times, again and again and again.  Only to add to the shame and feeling less than that I had already stuffed into my belly.

Something is changing.  More than that, something is transforming within me, and within my belly.  From this place of fullness and beauty, and rich, fertile soil in my belly, I will share and offer the gifts of my soul, from my belly.  My beautiful, full, rich belly.

Here's to all women being EMBELLIED, empowered and embodied!  An evolution is happening.  Let's all be a part of it.

Suseya,
Sahara

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