Wednesday, June 23, 2010

WombHeart

Annegret gave me a beautiful "heart" stone the other day down at Joyful Journey Hot Springs.  It is an earthy browny red color and is roundish, and not flat.  It looks and feels like a heart - warm and round, and it fits perfectly into my hand.  Annegret wrote me this after we had each returned home from our weekend:




You remember we all exchanged hearts, yours was very different from the others, yours is a whole heart, the others were flat. I take this as a symbol. Your split, soon will be no split anymore. You are healing your WHOLE heart to be who you really are and who the world needs you to be, the life coach you are meant to be. SHINE!!
I am taking these words to heart (pun intended!).  This beautiful heart also reminds me of a womb, my womb and the heart of my womb.  As I hold this stone, I am living into the possibility of wholeness that my "split soon will be no split anymore."  That my heart and my womb will be one, and that living from my heart will be the same as living from my womb.  I have often said that the split exists horizontally as well as vertically.  The horizontal split is the split between my heart and womb.

Before the masculine paradigm came in and took control of our cultures, our lives and our bodies, our hearts and wombs were intimately connected.  They worked in tandem and informed each other.  They were like one heart, wombheart.  The womb was the center for the body; the heart was the center for one's spirit.  Together, a person could access her inner wisdom, be present in her body, know her true desires, and translate the internal to the external.  The path was clear and direct.  Now, there is a road block.  More than that, I keep seeing an image of a fissure in the earth that has cut the road off from itself.  A road on one side and the road on the other side and no way to cross the chasm.

I am reminded of a beautiful maze book that my daughter loves to engage with while at piano lessons and waiting her turn.  There are road blocks and dead ends, so to get to destination, one has to find another road, usually the most circuitous route, to get there.  As adaptable humans, that is what we do.  We do find another way to get where we want to go, even if it is less direct, hard to find, and difficult to navigate.  Also as humans, we compensate.  We will use other muscles, other nerves to get around the road blocks and dead ends.  We will get there, because that is what we are hardwired to do.

Yet something gets lost or left out in the process. When we create with just our heart, the wisdom and grounding of our bodies can get left out of the picture.  Vice versa, when we create with just our bodies and our wombs, we can forget about our heart and its deepest desires, its connection to spirit, and create just for the sake of creating, rather than creating something that benefits the greater whole.  Isn't that what we have been doing for several thousands of years - creating just to create without being connected to the essential pulse of life?  As a result, we have created pharmaceuticals that can do more harm than good, and destroy in the name of healing; we invent contraptions and machines that pollute and destroy the environment; we have the capacity to rape the Earth of oil and other essential minerals without even being aware of the consequences of what our taking the oil may truly mean.  We are like vampires who take the blood of another without asking for permission, and then destroy the body through our use of the oil.  When we create just for the sake of creating, our hearts and wombs are disconnected, and while we can get excited about what we have created, we have missed the opportunity to create in a way that serves the highest good, and that benefits ALL, including the planet that we call home.

The time is now to heal the split between the heart and the womb.  As I've said before, we all have a womb, men included.  It is the center of our creativity.  It is the chalice to hold our creations as they take form.  It is the muscle that births our creations.  Its purpose is to fill, release and empty itself, only to become full, release and empty itself again and again.  Our monthly bleeding cycles, our pregnancies, our children, our creations.

We all know that we have a heart.  This is universally accepted.  We may say that someone has no heart or is heartless, when they cannot care, have compassion, or be connected to their feelings.  Yet they know that they have a heart and where it is in their bodies.  Its symbolic nature and meaning has been written about, sung about, cried about for as long as we can remember.  Love, love, love...but what about the womb?  What about its wisdom, its symbology, its purpose, both physiologically and energetically?

The split that I feel is just as horizontal as it is vertical.  I have focused so much more on the vertical split - it has been what I have known, and is more obvious.  The vertical split speaks of the separation between the masculine and the feminine; the left and the right brain and sides of my body; intuition and logic; emotional and rational; and even England and America.

The up/down split has been more challenging for me to identify.  The more obvious is the split between Heaven and Earth; spirit and matter.  It is more subtle or less obvious for me the split between the heart and womb because how often have we even acknowledged that a relationship and connection between the heart and womb even exists.  The nature of a split presumes that there has been a relationship and a connection to start with.  How often is the relationship between the heart and womb even, ever acknowledged? 

I am venturing further into split just by naming this horizontal split.  I know that this is where I feel a profound distrust for the masculine and where I have preferred to stay safe, and take a long circuitous route to where I want to go.  Now, I am inviting myself to take the next step into healing the horizontal split and connecting my womb and my heart.  This is the journey into the unknown, the mystery, and I accept the invitation.

To our WombHearts.

Suseya!
Sahara

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